The Ministry of Reshelving Needs You

The good folks over at the Avant Game Blog have a terrific idea and they need our help.

A couple of weeks ago they launched the Ministry of Reshelving Project. The idea is pretty simple: Go to your local bookstore and relocate copies of George Orwell's 1984 from the fiction section to sections which are more appropriate, such as Current Events, Politics, True Crime or even New Non-Fiction.

They even have a downloadable bookmark for you to surreptitiously place inside the relocated book.

Yeah, I know there might be some squawking from a few uptight bookstore clerks, but come on, guys, there's a higher purpose at work here.

Thanks to Agitprop for the link and the story.

Take That, Bitch!

Our favorite wingnut skanky ho, Ann "Thrax" Coulter, was unceremoniously dropped by, of all papers, the Arizona Daily Star. Seems they got complaints that she was "shrilll, bombastic and mean-spirited. And those are the words used by readers who identified themselves as conservatives," according to the paper's editor and publisher, David Stoeffler.

In honor of Crazy Annie Coulter and her fall from grace in The Grand Canyon State (hmmm...a little irony there?), we proudly present the following song parody:

Fear It in the Night
(To the tune of Spirit in the Night -- Bruce Springsteen)
© 2005 Dennis Mansker

Ann "Thrax" Coulter held her steely dan
Clutched in the fingers of her strong right hand.
She has to use it 'cause she can't get a man,
Even drunk on Saturday night.

Well, Annie likes to slam the Democrats,
She calls 'em traitors and then she calls 'em rats,
She looks like a vampire hangin' out with the bats
Lookin' for a neck to bite.

Along with Mushy Rushie and Shammity,
They'll strip away our freedoms and take our liberty,
We have to fight, but we better fear it in the night (all night),
In the night (all night),
Oh, you don't know what they can do to you.
Fear it in the night (all night), in the night (all night)
If you're a liberal Annie will shoot you.

Ann Coulter is a crazy bitch,
If you're not Republican and you're not rich,
She'll kick you in the head and knock you in the ditch,
Leaving you alone to die there.

Annie wrote "Slander" and it was a lie,
Fox News sang her praises and never asked her why,
Then she wrote "Treason" and they gave her another bye,
And liberals aren't supposed to care?

Crazy Annie would be dancin' on our graves,
There wouldn't be a liberal that she would want to save,
She's such a fright, and you'd better fear it in the night (all night),
In the night (all night),
Oh, you don't know what she can do to you.
Fear it in the night (all night), in the night (all night)
Stand up for the left she'll shoot you.

A Double Disaster

Jesus, can it get any worse: New Orleans is under 20 feet of water, 3,000 members of the Louisiana National Guard are in Iraq, and martial law has been declared.

There just aren't enough Guardsmen left in Louisiana to carry out their primary mission, taking care of Louisiana.

Fortunately there is a ready and willing group of volunteers who wait only to be asked. The are the Louisiana Young Republican Freedom Fighters. Maybe they are too chickenshit to go to Iraq and fight the war that their Fearless Leader has forced on the rest of us, but I don't think they are too cowardly to join the Louisiana National Guard today and help out with the worst storm ever to hit Louisiana.

Give a call to Stephen M. Gele, the Chairman, of the LYRF, at (504) 237-6399 or email Ellen Wray of the Louisiana Republican Party at ellen@lagop.com -- ask them to enlist and to encourage all of their followers to enlist in the Louisiana National Guard and show the rest of us that they are not the ass-yapping chickenhawks that we think they are.

We might be surprised.

Petition: Bush Kids to Iraq or Troops Home

Buzzflash has the petition. Tell the BFEE to enlist their children in the Noble Cause or bring ours home. It couldn't be simpler.

So Many Chickenhawks, So Little Time...

Turns out Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney (R., Mormon Hypocrite), a hu-u-u-ge supporter of the war and crocodile-tears-weeper over the sacrifices that the National Guard from his home state have made in the Quagmire-in-the-Sand^tm, gets just a little bit testy when someone from the media dares to question him about his own sons serving.

From the Boston Herald:

The Herald posed the question as Romney - a potential 2008 White House contender and backer of President Bush's Iraq policy -was honored by the Massachusetts National Guard after he signed a bill extending pay for state workers on active duty.

"No, I have not urged my own children to enlist.I don't know the status of my childrens' potentially enlisting in the Guard and Reserve," Romney said, his voice tinged with anger.

Massachusetts residents can enlist in the National Guard up to age 39.Romney's five sons range in age from 24 to 35. Neither the Romney children nor the governor have served in the military, Romney spokeswoman Julie Teer said.

More than 1,100 guardsmen and women from Massachusetts are currently serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, a guard spokeswoman said.According to federal statistics, 28 Massachusetts soldiers have been killed so far.

"I don't think you should be so 'rah-rah' for a war that you aren't willing to send your own family members to," said Rose Gonzalez, 30, of Somerville, whose mother, a state employee, was deployed to Iraq in January. "If he thinks the war is so just and so important and we shouldn't pull out, then he should encourage his own sons to go."

So what's up with this? I thought that any Republican lucky enough to get elected to the executive mansion of "the most liberal state in the country" (remember that phrase from the late presidential campaign, when the right-wing noise machine tarred mercilessly Kerry with the "L-Word" brush?) would want to be a guiding light, a beacon in the night, a shining example for the benighted citizens of the state. He ought to be more than willing to sacrifice his sons for the Noble Cause that he so fervently believes in.

But probably not. After all, if the Great God Bush feels no compunction to sacrifice any other rich-kid-pukes (his daughters, for instance) to the Noble Cause, why should Romney?

But he really shouldn't be so thin-skinned about it, should he?

Don't you think that's kind of...tacky...?

-----------------------------------------------------------

Note: See also what The Yellow Elephant has to say about Romney, and scroll down to check out that famous list of Republican Chickenhawks in parallel comparison to the list of prominent Democrats who served in the military. This comparison is mind-boggling, and I find myself becoming shocked and appalled and angered all over again every time I read it.

Weekly "Bush Twins in Uniform" Watch

It has now been 457 days since Jenna and Not-Jenna Bush, the slacker offspring of Preznit Numnutz, graduated from college and they are still not in the uniform of the US armed services.

Why? If this is such a Noble Cause that Cindy Sheehan had to give her son to it, then why are the Bush Twins exempt? Does this make sense to anyone except the rich fuckers at the top of the BFEE who are more than happy to sacrifice the children of the poor and the disenfranchised and the immigrants and the less-than-human human debris that has accidentally washed up on our shores? Does it?

Is Bush al-Qaeda's "Useful Idiot"?

Robert Parry over at Consortiumnews.com is consistently right on with his commentary, and this one is no exception. Definitely a must-read.

Parry says that contrary to his public pronouncements, Bush has done pretty much everything that Osama bin Laden has asked him to do -- he is a "useful idiot" who thinks he's accomplishing one goal when he's actually being led around by a string through his nose to accomplish another.

Parry also has the most cogent argument for withdrawal from Iraq:

Without the American presence to incite young Muslims to strap on suicide belts, the foreign terrorist operations in Iraq might shrivel. Even the Iraqi Sunnis, whose anti-American interests now overlap with those of the foreign jihadists, might have little stomach for the civilian-butchering jihadists if the Americans were gone. The Sunnis might well revert to Hussein’s approach of ruthlessly repressing Islamic extremists.

In other words, as odd as it might seem, an American withdrawal could actually contribute to the precise result that is now the chief U.S. policy goal, preventing Iraq from becoming a haven for terrorists.

Say no more. Out now. End of story.

What's Next, Cannibalizing Their Own Children?

Jesus, what a weird day in Crawford. The wingnuts can't even get their shit straight long enough to stage a successful counter-protest.

According to a story on the Waco Tribune website, a self-described Vietnam vet carrying an inflammatory sign calling Cindy Sheehan a bitch was confronted by someone from, of all places, the Free Republic. Words were exchanged, the crowd pressed in, and a kick was thrown. It didn't connect, but it was sufficient for the veteran to be arrested on assault charges.

Who do these fuckers think they are, Democrats? Repugnicans aren't supposed to fight among themselves like this.

I guess this shows how desperate the Thug Repugs were to have a counter-demonstration. They pretty much took anyone who was breathing and sober enough to stagger, but then they turn around and tell them they can't practice "free speech" at their free speech rally.

Jesus, people, can it get any more surreal?

Has it Been Only Two Years Since Rummy Said This?

"And there'll be some sort of a representative government that will evolve and a non-dictatorial, a non-repressive government. And if you are suggesting how would we feel about an Iranian type government, with a few clerics running everything in the country. The answer is, that ain't gonna happen, I just don't see how that's going to happen."

This is an actual quote, taken from an actual Pentagon transcript of an AP interview dated April 24, 2003.

So, Rummy, bad grammar aside, how about now? Now can you see how that's going to happen?

Why is it that every time that smarmy self-absorbed motherfucker opens his mouth, more shit oozes out? Who can still take these people seriously?

When Faux News Turns Malevolent

Like everyone else with half a brain and a sense of fun, I like to mock Fox News. They are so fucking inept and idiotic that it's like shooting fish in a barrel, but it's cheap entertainment. Every day I take a look at the latest on Media Matters and Newshounds to see what the lame-assed faux pundits on Faux News have been distorting.

But all of a sudden they aren't so laughable any more. Not when they ruin the lives of ordinary people and can't even be bothered to apologize for it.

According to an LA Times story, Fox News Moron John Loftus identified an address in La Habra as being the home of a terrorist.

Only problem was that the alleged terrorist, one Iyad K. Hilal, hadn't lived at the home for over three years. Hilal, a grocery store owner, by the way, has not been charged with any crimes and is not under arrest.

Instead the Voricks, a middle-class non-Middle-Eastern couple who bought the house three years ago and have lived there since, are now living in fear. They have been subjected to unbelievable harrassment -- drivers shouting profanities at them, people stopping to photograph the house, and most recently the spray-painting of the word "Terrist" on the side of the house.

Whatever that is supposed to mean -- business as usual for the KKK knuckledraggers, who still haven't learned how to spell. Or think.

Okay, so back to Loftus. This asshole is a former federal prosecutor who should really know better. And back when "journalist" was a respected profession and those who practiced it had a modicum of self-respect and discipline, a quaint little exercise called "fact checking" would work wonders towards avoiding this kind of fuckup.

Oh, and no on-air apology. However, Faux News did issue a statement of regret, and Limpdick Loftus is on record as saying "mistakes happen".

Mistakes happen. Got that? They happen all by themselves, without human interference. Jesus, what a fucking weasel. The next time I get pulled over by the State Patrol when I'm going 85 in a 55, all I need to tell the cop is that "crimes happen". That looks like a sure-fire "get out of jail free" card to me.

Apparently it worked for Loftus. No reprimand, no suspension. And not even an on-air apology.

Like we needed any more reasons not to watch the lying fascist apologists for the Baby Doc regime.

------------------------------------

Update! I just from learned from CNN that Loftus has been fired! Maybe there is a god after all...

Wesley Clark Nails It -- Again

As usual, General Clark's trenchant analysis is right on the money. Read his article in the WaPo and see what a true military man has to say about the Quagmire-in-the-Desert^TM.

Excerpt:

With each passing month the difficulties are compounded and the chances for a successful outcome are reduced. Urgent modification of the strategy is required before it is too late to do anything other than simply withdraw our forces.

Adding a diplomatic track to the strategy is a must. The United States should form a standing conference of Iraq's neighbors, complete with committees dealing with all the regional economic and political issues, including trade, travel, cross-border infrastructure projects and, of course, cutting off the infiltration of jihadists. The United States should tone down its raw rhetoric and instead listen more carefully to the many voices within the region. In addition, a public U.S. declaration forswearing permanent bases in Iraq would be a helpful step in engaging both regional and Iraqi support as we implement our plans.

Why didn't John Kerry choose The General as his running mate? Edwards brought exactly zero to the ticket and he was a major disappointment to me and many others I have spoken to. Clark would have been a hugely better candidate and a major boost to the party.

Is it that the Democrats just don't want to win?

Or was it that they just didn't want to win that one?

Sunday Bush Humor

Our double-secret super-agent down in Texas reports the following true story about Baby Doc when he was still the governator.

One day Baby Doc and an old friend of his father Papa Doc were out hunting. They were struggling up the side of a shallow Texas hill when the old dude dropped over clutching his chest.

Baby Doc was fortunate that he had an early-version cellphone with him. He was also doubly fortunate that he was able to remember the number sequence 9-1-1.

"This is Governor Bush! Help me!" Baby Doc screamed into the phone. "Old Joe fell right over. I think he's up and died on me!"

"Okay, governor, just calm down," the EMT on the other end of the line said. "The first thing we need to do is make sure he's dead."

There was a pause and then the sound of a gunshot.

After another pause, Baby Doc came back on the phone. "Okay, now what?"

Spitting on Veterans -- The Persistence of a Myth

When I got back from Vietnam, no one spat on me. No one spat on any of my friends. I've asked a lot of my fellow veterans and no one spat on them, either.

In fact, no one has been able to come up with one single documented contemporary account or photograph of any Vietnam veteran being spat on by war protesters when he returned from Vietnam. And yet this myth, more than any other save those surrounding "Hanoi Jane", has grown legs sufficient enough to have now become an archetype of the whole Vietnam experience.

"Most Vietnam vets were spat on when they came back," Michael Smith stated flat-out, attempting to justifiy his actions after his arrest for spitting on Jane Fonda at a book signing. And that statement, as far as I can tell, went completely unquestioned, completely unchallenged by the MSM/SCLM.

I'm at a loss as to understand why this phenomenon is occurring. Even though, as I say, there is not one single documented case from those years, a Google search for the phrases "vietnam veterans" and "spit on" turns up 5,700 pages. And many of those pages appear to be latter-day testimonials from many of my fellow Vietnam vets, attesting to the fact they were, indeed, the recipient of unwanted saliva when they came through airports in LA, SFO, etc. And it was always airports. Not coffeeshops, not gas stations, not streetcorners. Airports. (See Jack Shafer's May 2000 column in Slate, Drooling on the Vietnam Vet for an excellent analysis.)

Sorry guys, but I am not buying it, and I'm sorry to see that you've jumped onto the victimization bandwagon. I'm sorry that you've bought into this whole mythology of the poor persecuted Vietnam veteran.

It seems to me that you don't realize what a fucking pussy this makes you look like. Are you really trying to tell everyone that you were just back in The World from a year in the jungle and when some long-haired patchouli-reeking draft-dodging hippie freak comes up to you in the airport, calls you a baby-killer and spits on you, you did absolutely nothing about it???

Bullshit. If that really happened, then you'd still to this day be so fucking humiliated by what a pussy you were that you'd never, ever talk about it.

No, you would have kicked his ass but good, and that would be your story today. About 90% of your fellow Vietnam vets would have done the same thing, and yet there are no arrest records from those days that show that a Vietnam vet and a war protester got into a fight over some spit.

So if we are going to believe that it really did happen "all the time", then we have to believe that the spitting protesters were just so fucking extremely lucky to have targeted some poor wimpy chickenshit turn-the-other-cheek Chaplain's Assistant every single time. And that you were one of them.

Jesus, dude, if you're gonna tell some bullshit war story, you might want to think through the ramifications first: Tell a story that's gonna make you look good, not one that makes you look like a chickenshit wimpass dork.

Friday Song Parody

Chickenhawks
(To the tune of Rocky Top)
© 2005 Dennis Mansker

Once there was a war in Vietnam
Draftees couldn't say no.
But there was a bunch of chickenhawks
Who didn't have to go.

Chickenhawks you'll always be
A bunch of cowards to me.
We all went off to Vietnam,
While you avoided duty.

Dubya's daddy was a big shot politico,
Got him in the National Guard.
Little Dubya even deserted that.
Guess the guardin's too hard.

Chickenhawks like L'il Georgie,
Really anger me,
When they could have gone to Vietnam,
Stayed behind with Jody.

Student deferments helped Dick Cheney
Avoid the military.
Then he found that sex could help him out,
He made a dyke baby.

Chickenhawks like Dick Cheney,
Really cowardly.
When he could have gone to Vietnam,
Had other priorities.

The chickenhawks are now in charge of things,
Screwed things up by far.
Nothin' left but go an' have a drink,
I'll be in the bar.

Chickenhawks, you'll always be
A bunch of cowards to me.
If I get the chance I'm gonna make
Chickenhawk fricassee,
Chickenhawk fricassee.

Friday Cat Blogging

Bullshit Protector -- Get Your Own!

As you read here earlier, another pissed-off veteran at the national VFW convention wore a protective shield over his ear while he was listening to Baby Doc speak.

See the story and the photograph here, and then point your browser over to wiseass to get your own that you can download, cut out and wear to your heart's content.

They don't look exactly like the one at the convention, but so what? They also have some "family-rated" ones so you won't offend the tender kiddies.

Kudos to the LA Times

In all the excitement, most of the MSM/SCLM have pretty much forgotten about the whole Valeria Plame incident.

Not the LA Times. Today they ran a lengthy analysis with a lot of historical perspective.

Maybe the media IS finally growing a pair of balls.

Makes a Big Difference Who's Doin' the Presidentin', Part II

Like my previous post on the rank hypocrisy of the weakminded right wing in this country, Billmon over at The Whiskey Bar came up with this gem concerning the American Legion and their support for the president's war efforts:

Dear Mr. President:

The American Legion, a wartime veterans organization of nearly three-million members, urges the immediate withdrawal of American troops participating in "Operation Allied Force.''

The National Executive Committee of The American Legion, meeting in Indianapolis today, adopted Resolution 44, titled "The American Legion's Statement on Yugoslavia.'' This resolution was debated and adopted unanimously.

Mr. President, the United States Armed Forces should never be committed to wartime operations unless the following conditions are fulfilled:

* That there be a clear statement by the President of why it is in our vital national interests to be engaged in hostilities;

* Guidelines be established for the mission, including a clear exit strategy;

* That there be support of the mission by the U.S. Congress and the American people; and

* That it be made clear that U.S. Forces will be commanded only by U.S. officers whom we acknowledge are superior military leaders.

It is the opinion of The American Legion, which I am sure is shared by the majority of Americans, that three of the above listed conditions have not been met in the current joint operation with NATO ("Operation Allied Force'').

In no case should America commit its Armed Forces in the absence of clearly defined objectives agreed upon by the U.S. Congress in accordance with Article I, Section 8, of the Constitution of the United States.

Sincerely,
Harold L. "Butch" Miller,
National Commander

BTW, this was 1999 and the letter was written to Bill Clinton, President of the United States and Commander-in-Chief of the military.

Yep, makes a BIG difference to these Nazi thug assholes who's doing the presidentin', all right.

Give me a fucking break, and keep out of my way, motherfuckers.

As if I Needed Another Reason NOT to Join a Stalinist/Fascist Organization

As you know, I don't have much truck with the biggies of veterans organizations. Here's yet another reason.

Today one Thomas Cadmus, the Supreme Fuehrer of the American Legion declared war on all antiwar protestors.

Excerpts:

"The American Legion will stand against anyone and any group that would demoralize our troops, or worse, endanger their lives by encouraging terrorists to continue their cowardly attacks against freedom-loving peoples," Thomas Cadmus, national commander, told delegates at the group's national convention in Honolulu.

The delegates voted to use whatever means necessary to "ensure the united backing of the American people to support our troops and the global war on terrorism."

Without mentioning any current protestor, such as Cindy Sheehan, by name, Cadmus recalled: "For many of us, the visions of Jane Fonda glibly spouting anti-American messages with the North Vietnamese and protestors denouncing our own forces four decades ago is forever etched in our memories. We must never let that happen again.

Hey, motherfucker, you DO NOT speak for me and you do not speak for the millions of other veterans who are actively opposed to this illegal and immoral war. What WE say is that we should never let happen again the foolish and needless squandering of American lives for a business deal. Our men and women in uniform are there to protect us; they are not there to be venture capital for the corrupt and evil Bush Crime Family.

You want to talk about "whatever means necessary"? We know what that means. You are skirting the issue, but everyone knows that you are talking about violence. Remember Malcolm X? Any means necessary? Remember that? Don't try to backpedal and give me any shit about not meaning "violence" when you know exactly what you mean.

Let it be known from this point forward that the American Legion is officially a Stalinist/Fascist organization, and if any of their jackbooted Nazi thug motherfuckers want to start something, we will be more than ready.

Mister Cadmus, how dare you try to take away my freedom to protest, my freedom to speak out against my government and its abysmal international terrorist foreign policy, its criminal acts against its own wounded veterans?

How dare you attempt to abrogate my constitutionally-protected right to peaceably assemble and petition my government for a redress of grievances?

You are so fucking stupid that you probably don't even recognize that, do you? It's in a quaint little document called The Constitution of the United States of America. You ought to try reading it sometime. Asshole.

How dare you, sir?! How fucking dare you??!!

The Swift Boating of Cindy Sheehan

Frank Rich andPaul Krugman are just about the last two people working for the New York Whore Times who are worth a shit; today Frank wrote an excellent story on what the wingnut attack-dog revenge machine is trying to do to Cindy Sheehan.

Excerpt:

Mr. Bush's stand-up shtick for the Beltway press corps wasn't some aberration; it was part of the White House's political plan for keeping the home front cool. America was to yuk it up, party on and spend its tax cuts heedlessly while the sacrifice of an inadequately manned all-volunteer army in Iraq was kept out of most Americans' sight and minds. This is why the Pentagon issued a directive at the start of Operation Iraqi Freedom forbidding news coverage of "deceased military personnel returning to or departing from" air bases. It's why Mr. Bush, unlike Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter, has not attended funeral services for the military dead. It's why January's presidential inauguration, though nominally dedicated to the troops, was a gilded $40 million jamboree at which the word Iraq was banished from the Inaugural Address.

Read the entire story on the always-worthy Media Channel website.

Bullshit Protector

Check it out. Up at Canada.com, on their National Post page, there's a picture of 73-year-old veteran Bill Moyer, wearing a Bullshit Protector earflap over his ear while he's listening to Baby Doc speak at the VFW convention in Salt Lake City.

Canada, by the way, still has an active Fourth Estate News Media. You won't see this photo in any of the American Whore Media outlets. I can guarantee you that.

Where can we get our own Bullshit Protector ear flaps? I can think of a hundred uses right off the bat. Like that staff meeting on Thursday...

Taking the Bull By the Tail...

As W.C. Fields once said, sometimes you have to take the bull by the tail and look the situation squarely in the eye.

Here is the text of an email I sent yesterday to Faux News and to Molly Henneberg and Laurie Dhue, two of its big-hair on-air don't care unaware bubbleheads:

Okay, you Faux News dittoheads, you've done it again. You know it, I know it, and the American people know it.
Molly Hennenberg reporting from Crawford clearly stated today that Cindy Sheehan once said "America is not worth dying for".
That wasn't true and what's worse, Molly, is that YOU KNEW it wasn't true when you said it on the air. You had the goddam clip from the SF rally where she actually said, and YOU KNOW IT, this: "IRAQ isn't worth dying for".
It's in the clip. Watch it and see. Don't take MY word for it.

Although I know that the likelihood of you actually retracting that story are about the same chances as a snowball's in hell, I do want you to know that people are watching and, which must come as a total shock to you, PAYING ATTENTION.

Try some o' that ole "fair and balanced" crap just once. You might just like it.

Needless to say, I have yet to receive a response from the network or its two snippy sisters.

The Robertson Express: Straight to Hell

I'll confess, given my atheistic secular humanist personal belief system, I haven't really paid a whole lot of attention to the American Ayatollah over the years, at least not since his stealthy minions took over the Republican Party in my home state in an overnight caucus coup. The Repugs were pretty much a laughing stock after that, and haven't won a statewide election since. A basically pathetic bunch of losers, all in all.

But today I ran across a website with, among other things, a number of interesting quotations from Chairman Loony.

Excerpts:

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."

"You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist. I can love the people who hold false opinions but I don't have to be nice to them."

"[Separation of church and state] was never in the Constitution. However much the liberals laugh at me for saying it, they know good and well it was never in the Constitution! Such language only appeared in the constitution of the communist Soviet Union."

People actually send money to this lunatic-fringe-dwelling fuckwad moron American Ayatollah Radical Christianist Cleric.

As much as I am firmly a part of the non-believing reality-based part of the human race, it's tempting to wish for an actual Jesus, just so we could see this fucker, plus Jerry The Sneer Falwell, James Focus on the Fetus Dobson, Burning Kansas Phelps, Tony Not-the-Dead-Actor Perkins, and Baby Doc Bush, all get their theological just desserts before the throne of god on Judgment Day.

I'm sure that should that Judgment Day ever come to pass, I'll probably be taking that "down" escalator myself, but it'll be worth it to feel that tingling thrill of schadenfraude, as I watch that trapdoor open up under their feet and see those flames of eternal perdition lick at their pathetic blacksock whiteman ankles.

What Was That Noble Cause Again?

Am I not understanding something?

Let's recapitulate:
· 1872 American lives lost
· 194 coalition forces lives lost
· Over 13,000 wounded, many severely
· Over 100,000 Iraqis killed
· $189 billion dollars and still counting

All of this, just so we could overthrow a secular government and replace it with an Islamic Koran-based theocracy? What the fuck happened to bringing freedom and democracy to the Middle East?

Is this the "noble cause" that Casey Sheehan died for?

Isn't there anyone in the Baby Doc Maladministration who is at all bothered by any of this?

Who Would Jesus Assassinate?

Breaking News: Radical Christianist Cleric Pat "Ayatollah" Robertson calls for the assassination of Venezuela's Hugo Chavez.

How in the fuck do these assholes keep getting away with this shit? Why doesn't ANYONE call them on it?

Fight back against the American Ayatollah (and Baby Doc at the same time): Buy Citgo gas and support both Hugo Chavez and the Venezuelan economy.

And fuck you, Pat Robertson. Call on your vengeful Old Testament god to smite me mightily if you wish, but you know the old saying: wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster.

And get a life, asshole.

Weekly "Bush Twins in Uniform" Watch

It has now been 450 days since Jenna and Not-Jenna Bush, the slacker offspring of Preznit Numnutz, graduated from college and they are still not in the uniform of the US armed services. Why?

And not only that, but it has also been 450 days and they don't even have fucking jobs!

Anybody besides me remember that Jenna, before the election, was scheduled to go be a teacher's aid at some NYC inner-city school? What happened? Did Jenna learn that there were "Negroes" there? Or did the school learn that, like her father, her reading ability never really exceeded that needed to get through My Pet Goat without moving her lips?

Or did everyone decide that after the election, and Daddy's puppetmaster pulled another one out of his magical bag of tricks, there was no need for little Jenna to get her hands dirty with those nasty and unappreciative inner-city criminals-in-training whose only ambition should be to get a reduced sentence of five-to-life?

Michelle, You Are By Far Our Favorite Lying Racist Skank

In a shocking revelation, it turns out that Michelle Malkin, one of our very favorites here at OPOVet, is by all indications a lying weaselly flip-flopping skank.

A couple of years ago Little Michelle apparently saw which way the Repugnican bandwagon was drifting (hint: it was to the right, as always -- duh), and jumped on with a book called In Defense of Internment, wherein she argued that the WWII internment of Japanese-Americans was not only legal and authorized, but necessary and justified, as similar actions would be today if we decided to forcibly intern swarthy foreigners who look different, smell funny and dress oddly. Apparently that's her drift -- I haven't actually read the book and don't intend to.

Whoops, somebody better alert O'Reilly and Rushbotomy: Turns out that just two years earlier, in 2000, in one of her usual frothing-at-the-mouth I-hate-Bill-Clinton pieces, she argued against the upgrading of certain WWII medals to Medal of Honor for a number of Japanese-American combat veterans; the little loudmouth voicebox-attached-to-an-asshole actually said, "The government has apologized and provided cash compensation to victims who were forced into camps. There is no denying that what happened to Japanese-American internees was abhorrent and wrong." (Emphasis added.)

Huh? What happened to Little Michelle? Was she on the rag that day? Was she kidnapped by aliens and a clever substitute dropped in temporarily while she was up in the flying saucer undergoing that empathy-ectomy surgery?

And are Bill The Liar O'Reilly and Limbaugh The Perpetually Talking Penis going to nail her good for this egregious flip-flop and parade it naked around their little corner of the world like it was the Rosetta Stone of Conspiracy Validation, the way they've done to just about everyone on the left whose words they could actually read without help?

You know, somehow I really don't think that's gonna happen. Fucking hypocrite assholes.

Many thanks to the always-entertaining and always-right-on DC Media Girl for this one.

From Our "Irony Is Dead" Department

"It's like company. If you had your brother-in-law in your house for five days, wouldn't he start stinking up the place? I just want them to pack their damn tents and go back where they came from."
-- Larry "Shotgun Boy" Mattlage, Crawford Resident

"As long as the out-of-towners know their boundaries, everyone will get along fine. People just don't like other people on their property, infringing on their rights."
-- Sharon "Bush is God" Nelson, Crawford Resident

Now, all you redstate morons who agree with these two, hold up your hands. No, Larry, your hand. Okay, now let's take a couple more quotes:

"It's like company. If you had your brother-in-law in your hut for five days, wouldn't he start stinking up the place? I just want them to pack their damn tents and go back where they came from."
-- Abdullah Husseni, Tikrit resident

"As long as the Americans know their boundaries, everyone will get along fine. People just don't like other people on their property, infringing on their rights."
-- Ali Akbar Muhammed, Fallujah Resident

You poor redstate fuckers. You just don't get it, do you?

(Thanks to "Chris from Bangkok", over on Bartcop for the quotes.)

Police Riot in Pittsburgh

In case you missed in the MSM/SCLM, jackbooted thug police with K-9 dogs disrupted a peaceful anti-war protest and arrested three individuals in front of a military recruiting station in suburban Pittsburgh yesterday. Among the arrested were a 68-year-old grandmother who was bitten by a police dog, and a woman who was hit with both a taser and pepper spray.

Read the story on the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette website, and then view the shocking, appalling, disgusting video on the Pittsburgh Organizing Group website. Bystanders stated that the protestors did nothing to cause the severe overreaction on the part of the police. The police -- surprise -- disagree.

More than anything, it is reminiscent of the notorious Chicago Police Riot at the 1968 Democratic Convention. This is a trial balloon for a new century: when they get away with it here, other jurisdictions will sit up and take notice.

And so it begins...

Sunday Bush Humor: The Horse Whisperer Goes to Crawford

Our double-secret super-agent on the job in Crawford reports the following story out of Shithole Ranch:

Last week Baby Doc's stock wrangler sent for a horse whisperer to come in and see what was going on with the horses on the ranch.
When the guy shows up, Baby Doc wanders down to the corral to talk to him.
"So you can talk to horses, huh?" Baby Doc says.
"Yep."
"And they can talk to you?"
"Yep. And not only horses, either. Pretty much all of your basic farm animals."
"Really?"
"Yep. Can I get to work now, Mister Prezdint?"
"Yeah, sure," Baby Doc says. "But you need to know one thing before you start."
"What's that?"
"That sheep is a goddam liar."

Salt Lake City Mayor Calls for Demonstrations against Bush

Salt Lake City??? Yep, it's true, as this story points out. Rocky Anderson calls for "the biggest demonstration this state has ever seen" to protest President Bush's appearance Monday before the national VFW convention.

The VFW is meeting at the Salt Palace and Bush will be speaking. I can only imagine what he's going to say: War on Terror, 9-11, Saddam Hussein Gas His Own People, 9-11, Stay the Course, yada yada yada.

Well, Mayor Rocky has had enough. "There should be a collaboration of health-care-provision advocates, seniors, the [gay, lesbian and bisexual and transsexual] community, anti-Patriot Act advocates and other civil libertarians, anti-war folks, pro-Social Security advocates, environmental advocates, anti-nuclear-testing advocates, and anti-nuclear-waste-shipment-and-storage advocates," the mayor wrote in an email to about 10 political activist leaders. "Don't let him come to Utah and not see huge opposition, even in the reddest state! This would send such an important message."

Predictably local VFW members started howling in outrage. Mike Parkin, senior vice commander of Veterans of Foreign Wars Atomic(!) Post 4355 in Salt Lake City: "Excuse my French, but - that son of a bitch! [Some of those redstate religious values at work there?] It makes the mayor look very, very unpatriotic. It makes him look despicable." Parkin went on with the usual shit about aid and comfort to the enemy, etc. Read the article if you need the ugly details.

I wish we'd heard about this earlier. I'd like to be there as a Vietnam veteran demonstrating in support of the mayor and against the illegal murderous regime of Baby Doc Bush. Anyone in the Intermountain area who can get away on short notice, head on down to SLC. The mayor needs you to be there.

Kinda makes me wish I'd actually joined the VFW, so I could demonstrate as a member.

But I never did. And that was for a couple of very good reasons: (1) In my experience, Vietnam vets were not really made to feel welcome by the older WWII vets who dominated the membership in the late 1960s and the 1970s -- it was like "we won our war, and you fucked up and lost yours" and (2) both the VFW and the American Legion demanded that you certify to a belief in god. Whatever the fuck was up with that I don't know, but I was not about to join any non-religious organization that demanded public affirmation of what is essentially a private belief -- or lack thereof. I still get periodic prodding from my vet pals to join VFW or the Legion -- "Oh, it's different now, we're in charge, it's getting more progressive, we can make a change" etc etc etc, blah blah blah.

Bullshit. I still don't want to join. I have plenty of places to drink alcohol and plenty of opportunities to talk with my fellow veterans. I belong to the veterans organizations that are having a positive effect on the nation and the world, organizations that already support my political and social values -- Veterans for Peace and Veterans and Military Families for Progress. I don't need to join a couple of still-reactionary quasi-rightwing organizations with the hope that I could somehow help to pull them to the left. I don't have that much time left in my life, and I'd rather use it productively.

And I still refuse to join any organization that demands that I certify to a belief in god. I won't say the phrase "under god" when I salute the flag, and I also won't swear "so help me god" when I testify in court.

Anything less would be rank hypocrisy.

Senator Chuck Hagel Gets It -- Which Means He's Gonna "Get It"...

He might be a Republican, but he's also a Vietnam vet. In a CNN story Thursday, he says, among other things, that the US is getting more and more bogged down in Iraq, the Bush Maladministration is disconnected from reality and is losing the war, and that Baby Doc should meet with Cindy Sheehan.

If only there were more Republicans like Chuck Hagel. But there aren't, and there aren't likely to be as long as the cynical manipulating Mayberry Machaivellis are in charge of The Party.

Watch for the subtle -- and not so subtle -- attacks and steady marginalization of Chuck Hagel to begin. Anyone who gets this far out of lockstep with The Party is doomed. His punishment will serve as an object lesson for anyone else who has the balls to criticize The Chimperor, Baby Doc.

Chuck, come on over to the Democrats. We'll welcome you with open arms, and we'll listen to you as well. More than I can say for members of your own party.

Cindy, This Is Why We Love You

In a no-holds-barred guest column on Buzzflash entitled Hypocrites and Liars, Cindy Sheehan once again lays it on the line.

Excerpt:

One thing I haven't noticed or become aware of though is an increased number of pro-war, pro-Bush people on the other side of the fence enlisting to go and fight George Bush's war for imperialism and insatiable greed. The pro-peace side has gotten off their apathetic butts to be warriors for peace and justice.

Where are the pro-war people? Everyday at Camp Casey we have a couple of anti-peace people on the other side of the road holding up signs that remind me that "Freedom isn't Free," but I don't see them putting their money where their mouths are. I don't think they are willing to pay even a small down payment for freedom by sacrificing their own blood or the flesh of their children.

I still challenge them to go to Iraq and let another soldier come home. Perhaps a soldier that is on his/her third tour of duty, or one that has been stop-lossed after serving his/her country nobly and selflessly, only to be held hostage in Iraq by power mad hypocrites who have a long history of avoiding putting their own skin in the game.

You go, girlfriend.

You Have to Wonder...

...exactly what is wrong with the people in charge of Baby Doc. In between burping the little fucker and giving him horsey rides around the ranchlette, you'd think at least one of those obsequious courtiers of his would have enough balls to tell the retarded little shit this:

Mister President, you interrupted your vacation for the brain-dead Terry Shiavo, flying all the way back to DC on that ridiculously-expensive-to-operate-for-even-an-hour airplane of yours. It looks bad, sir. The American people want to know that their leader has good sense. Horse sense, if you will. They are not seeing it in you.

You need to meet with the Gold Star Mothers who are camped near here. You've let this go on too long, you've let it turn into a media circus, and most importantly, you've lost the momentum. The longer this goes on, the worse you are going to look in the eyes of the American people. You used to own the media. Now they are turning on you, and that's the worst thing that can happen to you.

Sir, this is not an empire. It is a republic. You can lose control of the reins of government in a heartbeat. Even members of your own party are trying to tell you that enough is enough. They are facing re-election next year, and they do not want the albatross of your presidency weighing them down.

Please, sir. Meet with the mothers, meet with Cindy Sheehan, and this whole thing will be over. Then you can get on with your life.

Yeah, fantasy is a wonderful thing, isn't it? I might as well fantasize about winning a $500 million Powerball Lottery, going to Mars, and on the way having a threesome with Halle Berry and Karolina Kurkova in the weightlessness of space. That has a better chance of coming true than, god forbid, one of those pussified handlers of his would actually stand up to the little moron and tell him that he has no clothes.

Why We "Heart" General J. C. Christian

Over at one of my favorite blogs, The Yellow Elephant, The General calls on the oddly racist concentration-camp-champion Michelle Malkin, a voicebox connected to an asshole, to shut the fuck up and just enlist.

She certainly has the lungs to yell out that cadence and the passion to bring to bear on to the slaughter of the insurgent enemy, many of whom, curiously, look something like her.

She's only 35, and consequently she is eligible to enlist. Such a sturdy and steadfast supporter of the Iraq War is really missing out on the exciting action. I am concerned that she will, in 20 years or so, be crestfallen, heartbroken that she neglected to enlist and do her patiotic duty. She will be like all those Vietnam War draft dodgers, huddled in silent masses at the street corners, hands out for a pittance in spare change, surly negative and bitter about the fact that she never made it to the front lines to kill a raghead for christ. Poor Michelle. As you can see, I am quite concerned about the little bitch.

The General wrote a very touching letter to Michelle. I suggest that we all do the same. Maybe if she actually can see how many real war veterans are encouraging her to be all she can be, perhaps she will change her mind and do the right thing.

And while we're on the subject, be sure to check out the Special Ops Caucus Orders page on The Yellow Elephant. All of the individuals listed are members of congress who are under the age of 42 and support the war. Let's all write to them and give them our permission to represent us, the veterans of the United States, in Iraq.

I'm sure that all of these fine individuals are worthy citizens and patriotic members of society. As such they ought to jump at the chance to enlist and serve their country. All they need, all they are waiting for, is for someone to ask them.

Yeah, that's it. For sure. It couldn't possibly be that they are all chickenhawk assholes, could it?

Friday Song Parody

Knights in White Linen
(to the tune of Nights in White Satin -- Moody Blues)
© 2005 Dennis Mansker

Knights in white linen,
Always strike fear they say.
From the beginnin'
We were called KKK.
Catholics and Negroes,
We always will hate,
And where the Jew goes,
He will meet a bad fate.
'Cause we hate you.
Yes, we hate you.
Oh, how we hate you.

Trent Lott is our hero,
David Duke is our man.
So don't try to tell me,
Things I can't understand.
Bush and Dick Cheney,
They have to depend
On us to support them
To win in the end.
And we hate you.
Yes, we hate you,
Oh, how we hate you.
Oh, how we hate you.

Knights in white linen,
Never out in the day,
From the beginnin'
We were called KKK.
Protected by Bush
And the Republicans,
If you oppose us,
We will chop off your hands.
'Cause we hate you.
Yes, we hate you.
Oh, how we hate you.
Oh, how we hate you.
Yes, we hate you.
Oh, how we hate you.
Oh, how we hate you.

Friday Cat Blogging

The Fucking Windbag Lies -- Again!

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is it with these people? Two days after the Pimpleass Draft Dodger said that Cindy Sheehan's story was "nothing more than forged documents", the fat bastard has the fucking nerve to come out today and claim he didn't say it.

Too fucking bad that Media Matters has the goods on the bloviating buttpimple: check it out here and scroll down to the screen print from the "members only" section of Mister Four-F's website. There, bigger'n shit, he says it.

He's either lying or he's insane. Earth to Rush: Come back to the planet; your straitjacket is waiting.

A third possibility: I think the addlebrain Pigboy is back on the Oxys. I really do.

Not that it matters a whole lot, since the motherfucker is (1) Rich (2) A Repugnican vitriol-spewing invective-dribbling lying mouth with a life support system attached, and most importantly, (3) a friend of the Florida governor, who coincidentally is named Bush.

There is no god, there is no justice, there is nothing but the void. And the sooner that loudmouth fatass enters it, the better off this planet will be.

The Right Wing Still Hates the Military

Paul Begala today over at TPM Cafe validates what I said the other day: The Right hates the military.

Check out what Paul says. Where I go over-the-top-balls-to-the-wall, he offers a more reasoned explanation:

It seems to me the American people never really forgave the Democrats for being right about Vietnam.

* * * *

For me, one of the most incendiary moments of the entire Bush war in Iraq occurred when a right-wing thug ran his pickup truck over hundreds of crosses bearing the names of heroic Americans killed in Iraq. He also took out scores of American flags in the process.

I'm fucking tired of those goddam chickenhawks parading around in their Support the Troops regalia, while in the meantime I've just learned that VP Dickless Crashcart is going to be addressing the Military Order of the Purple Heart. In a just society, in an ideal world, this would be literally impossible. I wonder if the chickenshit motherfucker is going to wear one of those 100% Repugnican Purple Heart bandaids. I wonder if he's going to talk about his "other priorities" that kept him out of Vietnam while 12 other men from Casper, Wyoming, died in Vietnam?

Yeah, I wouldn't bet on that either.

Veterans of Future Wars

Okay, when I first saw this I thought it was a joke. Turns out it was, but not in the way I thought. Instead of a joke it was a hoax that, like many hoaxes, got quickly way out of hand.

Way back in 1936, following the unfortunate and tragic 1932 Bonus Army encampment in Washington DC, Congress passed the Veterans Bonus Bill for WWI veterans. Students at Princeton, under the questionable leadership of one chucklehead expert in irony names Lewis Gorin, started a group called Veterans of Future Wars. Their demand was simple: Pay them a $1000 bonus now, under the assumption that they would eventually have to go fight in a war; this way they wouldn't lose a paycheck.

Although it was always intended as satire, as a sophomoric campus joke (their salute was a mock Nazi sieg heil, with the arm outstretched and the palm up to allow for the easy deposit of the cash), other campuses picked up on it, took it seriously, and soon there were over 50,000 dues-paying members.

In the interests of full disclosure, it must be stated at this that most college students at the time -- with most of the nation still in the throes of the Great Depression --were sons of the arisitocracy, scions of the ruling class, an effete corps of impudent snobs. In a word, Republicans.

I think the only reason that today's crop of college young Republicans doesn't come up with a similar idea is because none of them are in any danger of becoming veterans of the current war, let alone any potential future war.

Still, doesn't it strike you as the very epitiome of Republican thought? Just so long as these bonuses don't get paid to minorities, the poor, the disaffected, the liberal, the morally weak, the physically disabled, etc etc., none of whom deserve anything more than a flag for their coffins and a scratchy pre-recorded rendition of Taps at their funerals?

An ironic footnote to all of this: With the exception of one student injured in an automobile accident, every single one of the Princeton students who founded Future Veterans of America served in uniform in WWII.

Very different from today, as you know.

Bob Herbert: The Children of the Privileged Class Need to be in Iraq, Too.

Bob Herbert's column gets it right:

The president has never been clear about why we're in Iraq. There's no plan, no strategy. In one of the many tragic echoes of Vietnam, U.S. troops have been fighting hellacious battles to seize areas controlled by insurgents, only to retreat and allow the insurgents to return.

. . .

College kids in the U.S. are playing video games and looking forward to frat parties while their less fortunate peers are rattling around like moving targets in Baghdad and Mosul, trying to dodge improvised explosive devices and rocket-propelled grenades.

There is something very, very wrong with this picture.

If the war in Iraq is worth fighting - if it's a noble venture, as the hawks insist it is - then it's worth fighting with the children of the privileged classes. They should be added to the combat mix. If it's not worth their blood, then we should bring the other troops home.

I can't say it any better than that.

Mister Bush, get those lazy embarrassment-to-the-presidency daughters in uniform. Now.

Last Night's Peace Vigil

Nearly 350 individuals showed up for last night's candelight peace vigil here in the capital city where I live. The ages ranged from infants in arms to ancient, doddering, wobbly veterans of WWII who nevertheless were able to stand with candles for over an hour to honor Cindy Sheehan and to be silent witnesses for peace.

It was very moving when the sun went down and it got progressively darker, and the candles became progressively brighter. At one point a man near me started singing in a clear deep voice, "Give Peace a Chance" -- it was taken up by the multitudes around me, most of them on-key, but at least one off key (me).

There were only two or three Baby Doc First Finger salutes and shouted pro-war slogans from local-yokel morons driving by -- and they ironically belonged to young men who, in a just world, would be in Iraq giving physical support to the war that they so vocally and gesturally support at home.

Fuck 'em. This peace movement is a growing movement, and it will only get bigger and bigger until we stop the killing in Iraq, bring our troops home, and get the evil ratfucks in the Bush Crime Family out of the White House and into the jail house.

Join with us on September 24th in Washington DC.

If you can't make it to DC, find a peace demonstration in your town. If you can't find one, start one.

End the war. Now.

Makes a Big Difference Who's Doin' the Presidentin', I Guess

Thanks to kos for these telling quotations from the Ruling Class. Only difference is that they're talking about their favorite incarnation of Satan, Bill Clinton, and the war was in Bosnia. A war in which we lost exactly fucking ZERO troops, you hypocritical assfuck Nazi motherfuckers.

"You can support the troops but not the president."

--Rep Tom Delay (R-TX)

"Well, I just think it's a bad idea. What's going to happen is they're going to be over there for 10, 15, maybe 20 years."

--Joe Scarborough (R-FL)

"Explain to the mothers and fathers of American servicemen that may come home in body bags why their son or daughter have to give up their life?"

--Sean Hannity, Fox News, 4/6/99

"[The] President . . . is once again releasing American military might on a foreign country with an ill-defined objective and no exit strategy. He has yet to tell the Congress how much this operation will cost. And he has not informed our nation's armed forces about how long they will be away from home. These strikes do not make for a sound foreign policy."

--Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA)

"American foreign policy is now one huge big mystery. Simply put, the administration is trying to lead the world with a feel-good foreign policy."

--Rep Tom Delay (R-TX)

"If we are going to commit American troops, we must be certain they have a clear mission, an achievable goal and an exit strategy."

--Karen Hughes, speaking on behalf of George W Bush

"I had doubts about the bombing campaign from the beginning . . I didn't think we had done enough in the diplomatic area."

--Senator Trent Lott (R-MS)

"I cannot support a failed foreign policy. History teaches us that it is often easier to make war than peace. This administration is just learning that lesson right now. The President began this mission with very vague objectives and lots of unanswered questions. A month later, these questions are still unanswered. There are no clarified rules of engagement. There is no timetable. There is no legitimate definition of victory. There is no contingency plan for mission creep. There is no clear funding program. There is no agenda to bolster our over-extended military. There is no explanation defining what vital national interests are at stake. There was no strategic plan for war when the President started this thing, and there still is no plan today"

--Rep Tom Delay (R-TX)

"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is."

--Governor George W. Bush (R-TX)

All of these are authentic Republican suckass hypocritical assbreath motherfucking quotations from the sorry who-the-fuck-do-they-fucking-think-they-are bastards who are now taking exactly the opposite approach, now that their Smirking-Jack Horse-Fluffing Assclown is the one doin' all that hard-work presidentin'.

It makes me fucking sick. Literally fucking sick.

What is wrong with this country that we would even think of allowing this horseshit to take place?

What is wrong with the media that they would let this go unremarked?

Jesus Christ, wake the fuck up, people!!!

Whore New York Times: It's Still Clinton's Fault

Yeah, the Whore NYT is back at it, acting at the beck and call of their Repugnican corporate masters, "reporting" on a questionable
State Department study that blames Clinton for allowing bin Laden to move to Afghanistan in 1996. But where are those pesky "fair and balanced" countering stories that those same Republicans were beating the no-war drums of Wag the Dog and No War for Monica in 1998 when Clinton actually had the chance to go after him and get him.

Don't forget that this W-NYT bin-Laden-Escaped-Because-of-Clinton story is set in 1996, long before bin Laden came up on the radar, long before the Cole was attacked, long before the Nairobi embassy was bombed. Back then he was just another radical-fundo-Muslim asshole with a hard-on against the US. There were and are literally tens of thousands (and more) of these guys -- why would anyone pay any attention to him until he actually acted out? Which Clinton did, and when he wanted to go after him, that's when the chickenhawk motherfuckers in Congress started all this bullshit about Wag the Dog.

This was a State Department study. Remember who is Secretary of State? "Aunt Jemima" Rice, who doesn't even know if she's married to Baby Doc Bush, is in charge over there, and what about that National Security advisory that Aunt Jemima herself passed on to Dubya warning him about the impending disaster of 9-11? I'm surprised she hasn't found a way to blame Clinton for the fact that the Little Chimperor didn't/couldn't read it.

Jesus, give me a fucking break. Still, be prepared for this one to get spread all over the MSM/SCLM as well as the wingnut blogosphere this week. It's actually been a while since the Rethugs trotted out their favorite meme, "It's Clinton's Fault".

Fifty years from now the Rethugs are still going to be blaming Clinton. And why not? It will still resonate with the uneducated unwashed illiterate illogical Faux-News-pabulum-fed thinking-impaired Moron-American voting bloc; FDR has been dead for 60 years and they are still blaming him for everything that has "gone wrong" with this country.

Like the Minimum Wage, the 40-Hour Week, the Fair Labor Standards Act, Social Security, Unemployment Insurance, the basic human right to be free from hunger and want and fear...the list is almost endless, and those motherfuckers at the top and their evil cohorts in the Constitution in Exile movement want to roll back, repeal, and destroy each and every socially-beneficial law passed since 1932.

It's up to us to tell them no. No more. We have had e-fucking-nuff of your bullshit and we aren't going to take it any more.

Vote out every Republican next year. The Democrats, for all of their faults, are the only true saviors of the American democratic experiment. Don't be seduced or suckered by third-party promises. The bottom line, when all is said and done, is that your leaders will be representatives of one of only two political parties. And unless you are disgustingly and undeservedly wealthy, then you cannot think that the Republican Party is the party that best represents your interests.

If you do, then you are stupid. That might sound harsh, but there's no two ways about it.

Stupid.

Larry Northern --Whacko Member of the KKK or Just Another Redneck Texas Knuckledragger?

Okay, maybe he's not a card-carrying member of the KKK, but his actions Monday night were right up there with the brazen behavior of David Duke and his fellow Klavens of the Klan.

Larry Northern -- whose sympathies are no doubt in conflict with his name-- 46, of Waco (I believe that's actually pronounced Way-ko, not Wack-o, although that may change now...) drove his beater pickup truck over a bunch of crosses set up to represent the Americans killed in Iraq. This happened at Camp Casey, outside the Baby Doc Playpen in Crawford, Texas.

In addition to the crosses, there were a bunch of American flags that were mowed down. Ground into the dirt under the scummy wheels of Larry's Hunnert-Percent-Amurrican Truck. American flags. Yeah, that's really showing some respect, that is.

I don't know anything about this whacked out asshole, but I am willing to bet good money that he was never in the military -- unless you can count those Kool KKK uniforms, all white, peaked hats, reeeally Kool.

Nevertheless, I am sure the redstate morons are all tickled pink about this wanton act of irresponsible vandalism.

Incidentally, these would be the very same assholes who would be in favor of a constitutional amendment to prohibit desecration of the flag.

I guess driving over them with a skanky-ass redneck Texas pickup truck and grinding them into the red Texas dirt under those nasty BF Goodriches doesn't really count as desecration. God forbid the motherfucker would have torched them as well. But I guess the knuckledraggers, the Rethug morons down in Texas make a distinction that is lost on those of us in the reality-based part of the nation: Burn crosses, trample flags.

Yeah, I don't get it either, but there it is. So how many of you redstate Moron-American voters would be willing to apply the flag desecration laws to our good buddy Larry, had this happened after the passage of that Draconian amendment?

Silence out there? Yeah, that's what I thought. Assholes.

Cindy Sheehan's Story "Forged"? Fatass Limbotomy Says So.

In a statement sure to provoke quizzical looks, if not outright consternation, even among his otherwise-blind-follower-koolaid-drinking-dittoheads, the Pigboy today said that Cindy Sheehan's story "is nothing more than forged documents".

Okayyyyy... Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth, the rest of us know that Cindy Sheehan's story is about her dead son and the so-called "noble cause" he died for.

So, Rush, you pompous chickenshit pimple-ass motherfucker, where exactly is that forged document?

Is Casey Sheehan still alive? Is his death certificate a forged document? How about his Purple Heart? Forged as well? Yeah, you chickenhawk draft-dodger, you'd probably think that. If you were actually capable of independent thought. If you ever had an original thought it would die of loneliness.

I'll tell you one thing, you overstuffed undereducated idiotic corncob-masturbating bloviating pig, why don't you come around me and show me one of those cute little Purple Heart bandaids affixed to the overblown end of your tiny dick? See how long that little "statement" lasts, asshole.

By the way, I am still waiting for that meeting between us, you chickenshit lily-livered bigmouth fatass.

Don't Let Irrational Fears Cheat You Out of Enjoying Life

Television news shows, documentaries, and so-called "news magazines" routinely sensationalize beyond belief situational elements of danger that are generally seen, by people dealing with them on a daily basis, as holding only a minimal amount of risk.

A case in point is the so-called Columbia Bar, at the mouth of the Columbia River separating Oregon and Washington. The Discovery Channel ran an all-stops-out show a year or so ago that shouted to the mountains that it was the most dangerous crossing in the world, the "Graveyard of the Pacific", and on and on ad nauseum. And unfortunately this tabloid-television "mockumentary" travesty on the truth has been repeated numerous times in the interim, whenever they're having a slow time and want to sucker in some viewers with the promise of Death! Destruction! Drowning! Danger!

Consequently a friend of mine has developed such an irrational fear of crossing the bar that he has stopped just short of insisting that I am a self-destructive suicidal moron bound for certain death if I go fishing out of the mouth of the river with our mutual friend who owns a fishing boat.

He has also, of course, spent an inordinate amount of time ferreting out even more sensationalistic Internet stories about deaths by drowning, boats run aground, etc., at the Columbia Bar that unfortunately have served both to validate and exacerbate his fear. The fear has now taken over his psyche to the point where he is not only unwilling, but also unable to consider any evidence that those fears are overinflated, sensationalized, or unreasonable. But I guess that very inability is basically the definition of "irrational fear".

A little research among the people who actually go over the bar on a regular basis shows something quite different from those sensationalized television-tabloid accounts of daily death and destruction. The commander of the Coast Guard station at Ilwaco, Washington, who is presumably in a position to know something about it, reports that if you exercise reasonable caution, everything will be fine and you will survive, like the vast majority of people who cross the bar all the time:

While the Columbia River Bar remains an inherently dangerous body of water, it's much safer today than it was in the days of Captain Robert Gray. Although, the bar is known as the "graveyard of the Pacific," the amount of shipwrecks and fatal accidents is fairly low in this age.

The fishermen who go out of the Port of Ilwaco every day, also in a position to know, say the same thing -- be sure to follow the threads in this discussion; they are very illuminating on the whole topic of sensationalized television shows.

And not considered in all these stories of Death on the Bar is this simple question: How many deaths per individual sortie, i.e., one boat transiting the bar one time? Not an easy statistic to come up with since each trip is not tallied individually, but when you consider that it is also one of the busiest passages in the US, a conservative estimate would be that there are several thousand crossings for each death, and probably many more -- it's likely the ratio is in the tens of thousands. I believe that this is a reasonable risk to take for those of us in the Reality-Based Community.

I think this Mark Twain quote is especially pertinent here: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."

Any endeavor that man can propose will perforce carry some element of risk. Even doing absolutely nothing is risky. The real trick is to calmly and rationally assess those risks, don't listen to the caterwauling of the sensationalistic media -- yes, that even includes the Discovery Channel, the Travel Channel and even PBS on occasion -- and do the research yourself. You will almost invariably discover that the danger is exaggerated, the fears are groundless, and you can do what you want to do without cowering in fear that something awful is going to happen to you.

The same thing holds true for the official Homeland Security "Threat Levels" -- we've seen them go up and down more or less arbitrarily over the last couple of years, with the only result being that we are constantly kept off balance and fearful. Bullshit is what I say about it. I'm going to DC for the September 24 anti-war demonstration, I am going to fly there and back, while I am on the East Coast I will be riding public transit -- including subways -- in Washington DC, Philadelphia and New York City.

I refuse to let fear rule my life.

And finally, remember the old saying, "A coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero only one."

Aunt of Dead Kentucky Soldier Speaks Out

Missy Conley Beattie is the aunt of Marine LCPL Chase Comley of Lexington, Ky. She wrote a guest column, Iraq War: Tragedy of Errors, in the Lexington Herald-Leader decrying the war that took the life of her nephew.

Excerpt:

For those of you who still trust the Bush administration -- and your percentage diminishes every day -- let me tell you that my nephew Chase Johnson Comley did not die to preserve your freedoms. He was not presented flowers by grateful Iraqis, welcoming him as their liberator.

He died fighting a senseless war for oil and contracts, ensuring the increased wealth of President Bush and his administration's friends.

He died long after Bush, in his testosterone-charged, theatrical, soldier-for-a-day role, announced on an aircraft carrier beneath a "Mission Accomplished" banner that major combat was over.

He died in a country erupting into civil war and turned into a hellhole by Bush, a place where democracy has no chance of prevailing, a country that will become a theocracy like Saudi Arabia.

This is a must-read. Too bad Fearless Leader won't see it. He's too fucking busy getting on with his life.

Too bad Chase Comley won't be getting on with his.

Cindy Sheehan: The Rosa Parks of Our Generation

(Okay, maybe Cindy Sheehan technically isn't part of my generation, per se -- I was born in 1945 and consequently I am a little long in the tooth to be of Cindy's generation -- but I am actually old enough to remember Rosa Parks.)

Cindy Sheehan has grabbed the spotlight away from the rich white guys who have thought for years that the country by rights and by law belonged to them -- or ought to have belonged to them.

It took one mother from Vacaville to say "Enough!" and make it stick. Now the momentum has shifted away from Baby Doc and his war-lover minions and oil-addicted overlords.

Like Rosa Parks, Cindy Sheehan has become the voice for change.

One person. That's all it takes sometimes. And this is one of those times.

Cindy Sheehan, like Rosa Parks, is an unlikely hero. But in my experience, all heroes are "unlikely".

If you can go to Crawford and join Cindy, please do it. My biggest regret is that I am unable to get away to join her.

But I am sure she will be with us in DC on Sept 24 for the big anti-war demonstration.

I will be there. Will you?

Getting On With Your Life -- The "Single Testicle" Report

So Baby Doc wants to get on with his life, does he? The goddam lying hypocritical little bastard! Well, that little retarded motherfucker can go get fucked as far as I'm concerned.

Casey Sheehan wanted to get on with his life, too.

So did 1853 other Americans who died for the Bush lies in Iraq.

So did the 16 dead Americans in Vietnam from Midland, Texas, one of whom died in Baby Doc's place when he skated out of Vietnam into that cushy National Guard slot -- which he later deserted.

So did Terry Rodgers of Kennebec, Maine.

Instead, the week-kneed chickenshit went bicycle riding with Lance Armstrong.

That means that between the two of them, there was exactly one testicle.

The Whipped-Dog Party?

I don't know what it is. Is it that the Democrats just don't want to fight?

In yet another example of Democratic wishy-washy let's-not-offend-anyone-least-of-all-that-big-mean-Republican-bully- who-keeps-kicking-sand-in-our-faces wussiness, the WaPo reports that "a number of prominent liberals" have joined in the criticism of a hard-hitting NARAL ad against John "Fuck You Veterans" Roberts.

Naturally the Thugocracy Party went into full-on faux-outrage mode about the ad, and instead of telling them to piss up a rope, the Dems went into full-on whipped-dog retreat.

Excerpt:

Republican operative Greg Mueller, who advised the Swift boat group, said the NARAL ad was pulled not because of Democratic wavering but because "it was so false, so outrageously false, that they were hurting the Democratic Party." He said Republicans have done "nothing even close" to that level of dishonesty.

Jeus Christ! How many goddamn lies will it take before people finally wake up to these fuckers? You want lies, you want dishonesty, you want outrageous falsehoods, just take a look back at the Swift Boat Liars for Bush.

Another Excerpt:

The NARAL case was the latest incident to provoke Democratic recriminations. In June, Democrats demanded that Bush aide Karl Rove apologize for saying that liberals wanted "therapy and understanding for our attackers." Rove refused to apologize, and Republicans leapt to his defense. Just before the Rove episode, Republicans demanded an apology from Richard J. Durbin (Ill.), the number two Democrat in the Senate, who likened U.S. treatment of prisoners in Guantanamo Bay to techniques used by Nazis. Democrats joined in criticizing Durbin, who eventually delivered a tearful apology on the Senate floor.

Jesus, why do I belong to a party that refuses to stand up to these schoolyard bullies? Have we just given up? Do we not want to win elections any more?

Weekly "Bush Twins in Uniform" Watch

It has been 443 days since Jenna and Not-Jenna Bush, the slacker offspring of Preznit Numnutz, graduated from college and they are still not in the uniform of the US armed services.

Why? Because they have other priorities. They are too busy partying down in Georgetown to show their support for the war by enlisting their chickenhawk-child selves into the military service, that's why.

Enlist, you un-American skanks. Your country needs you.

The Right Wing Hates the Military

They always have, you know, but they kept it sublimated as long as the mindless cannon-fodder were willingly, blindly laying down their lives in the cause of Empire.

But let's not forget that Ann "Thrax" Coulter, a number of years back, told a disabled Marine Vietnam vet that people like him lost that war.

Now, with the military bogged down in an unseemly fashion in Iraq, it has to be their fault. Their fault that the casualty numbers keep rising, their fault that they are being killed to the tune of several a day.

"Sneering Jack" John Cole, over at the aptly-named wingnut blog Balloon Juice, says that it's Casey Sheehan's fault for getting killed, that a soldier's main duty is to stay alive, and it was dereliction of that duty to get himself killed. He stops just short of calling for a post-mortem Article 15 against Casey. (Look it up yourself if you are so inclined -- I won't give the motherfucker a trackable link.)

Yeah, like that shitface assbreath would know the first thing about it. Like he was ever in uniform defending his country. Like he knows what it's like to have a mortar attack landing all around you. Like he knows what it's like to have your convoy ambushed from a dense jungle. Asshole.

And don't forget Windbag Rushbotomy calling Paul Hackett a "staff puke".

The severely disabled are being called slackers and fakers. The VA is going to review every case of PTSD to weed out the undeserving and the "welfare bums", and disabled vets are dismissively marginalized if they don't have the right wounds, or if they got them in the wrong way. Every Purple Heart veteran was mocked by those chickenhawk motherfuckers at the Repugnican Thug convention with their oh-so-precious purple band-aids.

We saw it all in the last year's election follies, and it should have been a wakeup call for us then.

The list of verbal atrocities against veterans continues to grow, people, and you can watch for new examples. We're rapidly going back to the days of blaming the warrior for the fact that the war is unwinnable.

We saw enough of that after Vietnam and I don't want to see any more of it now. If I hear one person within my earshot blame the troops for losing this war, I personally am going to kick some ass. I may belong to Veterans for Peace, but I am not a pacifist. I may be 60 years old, but I think I can still do a little stomping.

A NYT Must Read

Frank Rich in today's New York Times nails it: Someone Tell the President the War is Over

Excerpt:

Within hours of that horrible trauma [i.e., 9-11], according to Richard Clarke's "Against All Enemies," Mr. Rumsfeld was proposing Iraq as a battlefield, not because the enemy that attacked America was there, but because it offered "better targets" than the shadowy terrorist redoubts of Afghanistan. It was easier to take out Saddam - and burnish Mr. Bush's credentials as a slam-dunk "war president," suitable for a "Top Gun" victory jig - than to shut down Al Qaeda and smoke out its leader "dead or alive."

Even Bush loyalists like Sen. George Allen (R-VA) have been urging Bush to offer Cindy Sheehan a little common courtesy and meet with her and go to Cleveland to mourn with the families of all those dead Marines from the same Reserve unit.

But no, the asshole is holed up in his pigfarm bunker down there in Ratfuck, Texas, on vacation from all that hard-work-presidentin' while the world is burning.

Why did you redstate morons vote for this asshole?
And are you happy about it now, motherfuckers?

Sunday Bush Humor

Mister X, our super-secret double-underground deep-throat correspondent from Midland, Texas, reports that once years ago he and the youthful Dubya motored on down to Padre Island for a little R&R.
When they get there, they decide to split up, go pick up some chicks, and meet back at the car in an hour.
So an hour goes by, Mister X meets Dubya as arranged.
"So what's up, Dubya? How ya doin' with the babes?"
"Man I dunno," Dubya says. "No matter what I do, they won't have anything to do with me. What's wrong?"
"Well..." X says, a little reluctantly. "Maybe it's them Speedos you got on. Don't hide nothin', you know what I mean."
"Huh?"
"Don't hide nothin'. You know," X points down at Dubya's crotch. "You ain't what we call well-endowed down there, son."
"Awww, Mommy told me I shouldn't wear these. Dammit. Now what?"
"Son, you just leave it to me. You get yourself a potato and stuff it down them Speedos, your problem is solved."
"A potato? Just like that?"
"Yep, just like that."
So they split up and agree to meet back at the car in another hour.
Dubya comes shuffling up, his head down, kicking sand.
"Whassa matter, boy?" X asks him.
"Awww, they still won't have anything to do with me. They even run away from me. What am I doing wrong?"
X surveys the scene.
"It's the potato, son."
"The potato? What about it? I put it down my Speedos like you said."
"Well, maybe you oughta try puttin' it down the front next time."

This is a true story, according to Mister X.

And I guess Dubya finally learned his lesson, as this picture shows:

And while we're on the subject of Dubya Crotch Shots, here's the classic Bush Shirtwiener:

Okay, I might have enhanced it, just a little...