Monday, January 09, 2006

Darth Cheney's Health Problems

Big Dick Cheney was in and out of the hospital last night but he claims there's nothing serious wrong with him. Just a little shortness of breath (wouldn't it be great if he actually started sounding like Lord Vader?) and an unspecified "foot problem" -- he probably had to have it surgically separated from his glottal tissue after all of those serious Iraqi foot-in-mouth-disease problems he's had over the years ("greeted as liberators", "last throes of the insurgency", "definite WMDs", "linked to Al Qaeda", etc etc etc).

Bush says he "has no doubts" about Cheney. That's really close to "Heckuva job, Dickie -- now don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out." Except of course that Cheney has nowhere to go and the Boy King really couldn't function without his regent/meat-puppeteer.

Still, I've said before that I look for The Big Dick to beat an eventual retreat "for health reasons", and it sure looks like they are preparing us for that possibility. I'm hoping that it's kind of like back when Agnew resigned -- he had to get out of the way before the Congress could march ahead on the impeachment of Tricky Dick, because nobody could accept a President Agnew. Ditto here -- no one will feel much inclined to impeach the Smirking Chimp if it means Evil-Overlord-and-Left-Hand-of-Satan Darth Cheney would be publicly and visibly in command of the Empire.

This could get interesting.