Saturday, October 18, 2008

A Blast from the Past -- A Scary One

How precocious is this? How prescient? How astoundingly correct?

Here's an excerpt from Der Monkey Fuehrer's first televised speech to the nation in 2001:

"Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over. My fellow Americans, at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.
Of course this is not from his real speech. That one was full of lies and distortions and bullshit. No, this is from the speech that he could have given -- should have given. Unfortunately, it was left up to the satiric newspaper The Onion to write and publish it. Way back in 2001. How did they know?

Okay, trick question. Anyone who was not in a Rethug kool-aid-induced political coma back in 2001 could have figured it out. Nevertheless, hats off to the staff at The Onion for getting it so perfect.