Breaking News: Birth Control Users WON'T Go to Hell -- Loophole Discovered!

It took no less than Pope Ratzo's new right-hand man to come up with this one.

A while back, a young woman in Portland, Oregon, a church worker and member of the Catholic Church, had an affair with a young seminarian. She got pregnant, he went on to become a priest.

Right now you're saying, "Well, Jeez, at least he was doing it with a girl"... But wait for the rest of the story.

When she sued the archdiocese of Portland for child support, the novel defense that the church presented was this: She was an adult able to make her own decisions and she engaged in unprotected sex with the young man, knowing that it could result in pregnancy.

Unprotected sex???

Last I heard the dead Pope-guy and his Nazi-sympathizing successor both held that the use of birth control is a sin.

A sin!!! Got that? A FUCKING SIN!!!

And the Catholic legal eagle who came up with this load of horseshit? None other than the fearless leader of the Portland archdiocese himself, Archbiship William Levada.

Who has now been elevated to chief of the Vatican Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith. Doctrine of Faith!!

BTW, that was Ratzo's old job before he got that smoky call to the top of the heap.

Jesus wept.