Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Bullshit Protector Earflaps

I recently received an email with this photo attached to it:

The text of the email ran as follows:
You've gotta love this man!
He's a 73 year old war hero, who wears a protective flap over his ear while Senator Ted Kennedy, Barrack O'Bama and Hillary Clinton address the Veterans of Foreign Wars! I wish I could shake this man's hand!
I just want to know where he got it....?
Well, I have an answer to that. As big a fan of political jibes as I am, I'm an even bigger fan of accuracy and truth.

This guy is Bill Moyer, a 73-year-old WWII, Korea and Vietnam vet, and it's a legitimate picture, all right. The only problem is that it was taken at the 2005 VFW convention in Salt Lake City, and the speaker whose bullshit he was deflecting was none other than ... Baby Doc Bush himself!

Leave it to the wingnuttery to try to change history. You can read more about this on Snopes, as well as Wikipedia and the Museum of Hoaxes, and if -- or should I say when -- you receive this email from one of your rightwing friends, fire back at them and request that they forward the truth to everyone they sent the lie to (I sent the truth back to the guy who sent this to me, and asked him if he still wanted to shake his hand; I haven't received a reply yet...).

They won't, of course, since pesky things like facts have a way of being extremely inconvenient to those people. But you will have struck a small blow for truth and justice anyway.


pepsiholic said...

Hey Farns, I just got an e-mail I thought was pertty funny:

For those who slept through World History 101...... here is a
condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the
summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and

2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the
Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are
more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.......

It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true
believers, and to more liberals...just to piss them off. said...

Hey Farns, As a british veteran I LIKE the bullshit protector, and don't really give a damn about the details. I would be more than willing to shake that guy's hand.
In fact, I wish I knew where to get them. Here's a challenge for you Farns... you find out where they are available, and you will have made a friend for life.


Farnsworth68 said...

P. Morris--
Welcome, brother veteran, and thanks for reading.
As for getting your own earflaps, well, they're not for sale anywhere I can find, but how about downloading and making your own?
-- The F Man

Titzi said...

Don't you think you are doing the same thing you are accusing those that "changed history" are doing? You just have your opinions about things and they differ from others.
Get a sense of humor you republican idiot. Now go back to thumbing your Bible.

Oh yeah, don't forget to look up the definition of humor.

Farnsworth68 said...

Well, Titzi, I think you might have a point.
The only problem is that I don't have a clue as to what it might be...
--The F Man

Fast said...

You can find these at: