Thursday, July 20, 2006

Snowflake Babies and the Bush Twins

Der Monkey Fuehrer, never one to pass up a good photo op, posed with a group of so-called "snowflake babies" when he exercised his first and only veto yesterday on the stem cell research bill.

Snowflake babies, for those who don't know, are "pre-born" frozen blastocysts that have been "adopted" out of the deep freeze and implanted into decent Xian women (others need not apply) who then bring them to term. Now this is all fine and good, and the photo ops are fun, but I really don't think the administration is doing a very good job of promoting this option among the faithful.

Like I said yesterday, there just doesn't seem to be a big rush on the part of the faithful followers of the cowboy messiah to adopt these pre-borns into their own uteruses.

What's needed is a good PR campaign, and I suggest that the Bush Twins, since they apparently have no plans to enlist in the military to show their support for their father's war, ought to be at the head of the line at the deep freeze to get a little snowflake shot from the turkey baster. Think what a coup that would be for the Little Dictator, to have your own daughters leading the charge to save these otherwise doomed pre-borns.

And, since we know that the entire Bush family consists of nothing but devout Christianists who believe in abstinence before marriage, Baby Doc and Pickles could be blessed with grandchildren without their own sweet virginal daughters getting soiled with all that nasty and messy sex stuff.

But there's no reason to stop there. Deadeye Dick Crashcart and his lesbian-sex-hack-novelist wife also have two daughters, both of whom would make more than suitable receptacles for their own little snowflakes. It doesn't matter that one of them is a lesbian -- I'm sure that, since according to the current Rethug thinking on the matter homosexuality is curable, all Little Mary really needs to do is get pregnant and those womanly hormones surging through her butch body will turn her back to the path of decency and righteousness.

So how about it, you girls? Do the right thing and save at least four frozen embryos -- pre-borns who would otherwise end up being flushed down the toilet. Since Repug women's sole function in life is to get pregnant and bring more little Repugs into the world, it is your duty to do this.

In fact, I really don't know how you can live with yourselves if you don't volunteer your otherwise sadly empty bodies for this noble cause.


Blue said...

I would love nothing more than to produce a few dozen embryos and make sure they were adopted by infertile repugnican women (who, frankly, like Ann Coulter are probably infertile for a reason--no doubt their god doesn't want their genes propagated, either). And, based on my family history, the little bundles of snowflakes emanating from my genes would undoubtedly result in several lesbians, a couple of very effeminate gay boys, a couple of very butch gay boys, a few guys who don't know what the hell is going on with their hormones, and a dozen or so straight women who refuse to sleep with their husbands!

billie said...

i just commented on another blog about the embryos. why such an uproar about using these embryos for research and absolutely no uproar about them being routinely discarded? to quote myself, "huh."

Anonymous said...

Betmo... Maybe god hates to use things and loves waste? Dunno not a christian.

The only problem I see with the Bush twins having the Babies is keeping them. We would want responsible intelligent parents for Babies wouldn't we?