Thursday, August 24, 2006

Penis Pumps in the News

Jeez, it never stops. Just a few days ago I remarked on the judge in my hometown getting four year for playing with a penis pump in his courtroom.

The latest development is an Iraqi man who was arrested by TSA officials when a female security guard at Chicago's O'Hare Field found a small squeezy rubber object in his backpack.

Mardin Amin was standing next to his mother when the offending object was plucked from his personal possessions and didn't want to yell out what it was. Instead he murmured out of the corner of his mouth the word "pump".

Leave it to the minimum-wage flunky to misunderstand him.

"Bomb" is what she heard and placed the man under arrest. And things spiraled out of control from there, with the result that this poor sap is now placed in the position of defending himself in court. The guard testified that he said the word "bomb", and the judge believed her.

In the meantime, Al Qaeda sleeper cells are making a run on the market and buying up penis pumps all over the world so they can turn them into bombs.

No, I don't know how they could do that, but while the TSA and the Dept of Homeland Insecurity are hassling this guy for the Muslim equivalent of Driving While Black, they are not on the lookout for the real terrorists.

What a fucking joke. Except Amin isn't laughing about it.


The Future Was Yesterday said...

You're really pumping up things around here....including my belly aches from laughing!:)

nunya said...

This is hilarious, thanks.

JBlue said...

I really believe that guy said "pump." It just makes sense.

What's up with those screeners and their 5 inch red fingernails?