Why Obama Sucks ... at Being the Antichrist

Jeez, can a brother catch a break? When they are not ranting about Obama being a Fascist/Socialist/Communist/Kenyan/Indonesian, they are boiling over with religious rage that he is the fucking Antichrist!
If you ask me, they just might be heading down the wrong path with that one...
And I'm not the only one that thinks this. The humor site, Cracked.com has an insightful analysis as to why, if Obama really IS the Antichrist, he has got to be the worst one ever:

When he should have been breaking his covenant with seven nations and declaring himself God within their temples, instead he bought a dog. When he was supposed to be searing his mark into the hands and foreheads of his worshipers and executing anyone who refused the brand, he was off singing Al Green songs at the Apollo.
...
But the antichrist is already supposed to be slaughtering the righteous and governing the world from a throne in Israel by his third year in power. Obama has done nothing but drag his feet and procrastinate about being unabashedly evil deep into his fourth year. Where is the colossal statue of him that springs to life and kills Christians? Where is the fire pouring out of the sky into the eyes of men? I don't even think he's drawn up any schematics. [emphasis added]

There's more of this trenchant analysis on the Cracked website, complete with source material links for the skeptics, but it seems as if those of us over here in the Satanist Circle are going to have to look elsewhere for our Antichrist. Obama just isn't cutting it.