Obituary -- US Constitution 1789-2006

Today the US Constitution was officially declared dead, with the signing of the death certificate by attending physician George W. "Baby Doc" Bush.

The Constitution's health had been in jeopardy since late 2000 when it suffered a debilitating stroke; it had remained on life supports for the several ensuing years.

In 2004 and again in early 2006 it staged what appeared to be a rally, only to slip back into a coma. Finally, in September 2006, radical surgery removed a number of moribund parts of the Bill of Rights, deemed malignant growths by the surgeons in the US Senate and Doctor Bush.

The operation was a success but unfortunately the patient died.

The Constitution is survived by a distant relative, the Magna Carta, still living in Great Britain, and its bastard offspring, American Fascism.