Friday, February 20, 2015

What's the Matter With Oklahoma?

Regular readers know that I've always considered Oklahoma to be pretty much my home state. Even though we moved out of state when I was ten years old, my most formative years were spent there and it's to those years that I inevitably go back when I find myself awash in rosy nostalgia for a bygone time -- those years on the farm were actually a lot of fun for me.

And that's why any oddball news from the state invariably catches my eye. Like this story: State Rep. Dan Fisher (R-Buttfuck) has introduced legislation into the state house of representatives that would prohibit state expenditure of funds on an Advanced Placement US History course that, in his words, "fails to teach 'American Exceptionalism'. He belongs to something called the Black Robe Regiment, a Glenn-Beck-affiliated outfit, that argues that "the church and God himself has been under assault, marginalized, and diminished by the progressives and secularists." Even worse, it attacks the “false wall of separation of church and state" and warns of a “growing tide of special interest groups indoctrinating our youth at the exclusion of the Christian perspective.”

Exclusion of the Christian perspective. You know, that's an argument the constitution guarantees governments can't get in the middle of: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...etc." -- First Amendment to the United States Constitution

Jesus, Oklahoma. You've already banned any consideration of Shariah Law. But you're not satisfied with that; you have to attack the contents of a scholarly and scholastically agreed-upon history course because it dares to claim (I presume) that George Washington didn't really chop down that cherry tree, that the Europeans were not the friendly white brothers from across the sea who were only concerned for the welfare of the savages, and slavery was not actually good for blacks?

Of course you do live mostly downhill from What's the Matter With Kansas, so a lot of the shit they pull out of their asses gets washed downstream to you. But that doesn't mean you have to pick up that pile of shit muffins, dust them off and get them gold plated.

They are still shitmuffins.