Monday, February 25, 2013

Breaking News: NRA Educational Funding Announced

The National Rifle Association announced today that it will be setting up a number of educational organizations to counter public perceptions of the organization.

"We want folks to know we're not just a bunch of trigger-happy gunslingers," NRA honcho Wayne LaPierre said. To that end, LaPierre announced, the NRA is fully funding the following educational endeavors:

· The James E. Holmes School of Film Criticism
· The Adam Lanza Center for the Study of Educational Reform
· The Chris Dorner Institute for Community Policing Studies
· The Jared Loughner Center for Congressional Evaluation
· The John Hinckley School of Presidential Studies
· The Mark David Chapman School of Music Criticism
· The David Berkowitz School of Human Relations
· The Arthur Bremer Center for the Study of Presidential Elections
· The Charles Whitman School of Aerial Marksmanship
· The Giuseppe Zangara Institute for Political Reform
· The Gavrilo Princip School of International Relations
· The Leon Czolgocz Institute of Governmental Criticism
· The Charles Guiteau Center for the Study of Presidential Succession

LaPierre also emphasized that there was no truth the the rumors that the NRA was also funding the Albert DeSalvo School of Respiratory Therapy, the Theodore Bundy Institute of Interpersonal Relations or the Jeffrey Dahmner Center for Culinary Arts & Sciences.

"No guns, no glory," he said. A spokesman for LaPierre later denied that he was smirking as he said it.

More details to follow as they become available.

1 Comment:

Sarge said...

That was good!
I caught most of the names - some, I can't pick out.

Ron