John Boehner's Boner...

...has apparently led him astray, right into the arms of an evil temptress/minion of satan.

Okay, I'm not usually one to repeat unsubstantiated rumors, but this one is too good.

Allegedly Speaker of the House John Boehner, an upstanding Republican stalwart of good moral values, has been linked to a sexual "liaison" ... with a lobbyist.

First of all, if this is true ... eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! What is wrong with her???

And second of all, it ought to be easy enough to verify -- just look for something that looks like orange popsicle stains on certain parts of her anatomy... Again, eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

But this is all for naught, since anything is okay as long as you are a Republican... Besides, lobbyists are like groupies: They are put on earth by a merciful god with the sole purpose of satisfying every need -- real or imagined -- of congressmen and senators.