Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sarah Palin: Going Rouge

One of my absolute favorite writers is a guy in Florida named Carl Hiassen, who writes a column for the Miami Herald and is also the author of a number of absolutely hilarious novels. I was waiting with baited breath (that explains the worm on my chin...) for his take on the new Sarah Palin "autobiography", Going Rouge Rogue, and he didn't disappoint me:

(Confidential response of Sarah Palin's book editor to the first draft of her upcoming memoir, "Going Rogue''):
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for turning in the manuscript so quickly. I thought only Stephen King could crank out 400 pages in four months! Seriously, there's some terrific material here, and all of us at Harper Collins are thrilled to be publishing your life story.
Before we move ahead, the fact-checking department has asked me to pass along a few notes and comments that may require some revisions on your part.
1. Eric Clapton spells his last name with a C. More significantly, his publicists tell us that you were not the inspiration for Layla, and that he doesn't recall ever having an affair with you. Is it possible you've got him confused with another rock star?
2. The mainland of Russia is indeed visible from parts of western Alaska during favorable weather conditions in the Bering Straits. Considering the ridicule you endured over this issue during the campaign, your desire to set the record straight is understandable. Still, 78 pages is a big chunk of the book. Perhaps it's possible to deal with the I-can-see-Russia controversy a bit more succinctly.
3. Our researchers can find no evidence that Tina Fey belongs to the Taliban. Could you send us the sourcing for that reference?
4. John McCain's campaign staff is vehemently denying the incident you describe in Chapter 13. Perhaps you could provide our legal department with the names of persons who actually witnessed the senator placing the duct tape over your mouth.
[Read more; it gets even funnier...]
Read the whole thing and you'll see why Hiassen is one of my favorites. I'm first in line when a new novel of his comes out, and if you haven't read him, you are missing out on some of the funniest stuff to come out of Florida since Flying Flagler and the Alligator Boys...


Katy said...

Hiaason is the bomb! His kids books are fabulous too - you know we liberals indoctrinate our young really early. ;-)

Love love love your blog, keep up the awesome work!

Farnsworth68 said...

Thanks, Katy, and welcome, neighbor. I too live in "the greater Seattle area" -- if by greater you include distances within 60 miles or so...
--The F Man