Monday, June 26, 2006

Too Good to be True: Limbaugh Busted -- Again

This just in: America's favorite fatassed blowhard radio voice was just busted coming back into the country with an apparently illegal prescription for ... Viagra!

"It's all Clinton's fault," Limbaugh did not say. "I wanted a blow job, too, and the only way I can get it up any more is by using this commonly-prescribed prescription. Which is available in every pharmacy, even those who won't dispense the morning-after pill."

How's that, you "family-values-focus-on-the-fetus" crowd out there? Your loudmouthed spokesman, the thrice-divorced addict to "prescription pain killers" (which he bought on the street -- or more accurately, sent his maid to score for him on the mean streets of Miami), currently on probation for that little stunt, has yet another prescription med that doesn't belong to him.

I refuse to listen to the pimple-assed bloviator, so I won't get to hear what lame fucking excuse he comes up with for this one, but it has to be good. Stephanie Miller will cover it, I'm sure, on her "right wing world" segment -- be sure to listen on Wednesday for the down and dirty.

Jesus Christ, how many times are his moonie-eyed dittoheads going to let him slide on this kind of crap? Never mind, I already know the answer to that one.

But Rusty, listen to me: You are fucking 55 years old, dude! Isn't it time you grew up a little bit, settled down and got a nice productive job, instead of jetting off to the fucking Dominican Republic, of all places?

Besides, didn't I hear somewhere that the Dominican Republic has turned into a kind of destination resort for old fat guys who want to score some teenage (and I mean early teenage) tail? Has anyone else heard that, and can you provide a source? America wants to know.

3 Comments:

betmo said...

i was kind hoping he would become such a liability that he would actually see jail time and we would be rid of him for awhile. i realize it is only a dream.

Dizzy Dezzi said...

hahahahahahaha! betmo...

You know the neo-cons (pun, very much intended) would never let anything "bad" happen to Rusty. He's the poster child for the movement in too many ways and helps to keep their "base" in line.

Unless he commits a heinous crime that is caught on tape with him declaring his name an address and that it is indeed him on the tape commiting said crime...it will be smooth sailing for him until the "base" loses the next election (hahahahahahah!) or he finally keels over...

betmo said...

dez,

"Unless he commits a heinous crime that is caught on tape with him declaring his name an address and that it is indeed him on the tape commiting said crime..."

come on- do you really think that would matter?