Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Big Empty Gesture

When you're plummeting in the polls to the point where even members of your own party look the other way when you enter a room, trying to pretend that they don't know you, it's time for something dramatic. Something that's going to make you look like a leader again. Hmmm, what to do? Gay marriage? Naw, dead issue. Flag burning? It has possibilities, but it will probably take a real flag being burned somewhere to get the drums beating on that one.

I got it. A trip to Baghdad! Easy to do, no airline reservations, and with just a little advance planning the eyes of the world are back on you. The Moron-American voting bloc sees you once more as the rough and tough "bring 'em on" hero you always longed to be, laughing in the face of Fate, fearless in the gaze of death, and suddenly you're back on top again, ridin' high and livin' large.

Now let's all watch the poll numbers rise as though by magic.

(BTW, I'm sure that it's just a coincidence that the very minute Air Force One cleared the US border the stock market staged a dramatic rally.)