Thursday, June 22, 2006

It's Faux News -- They Just Can't Help It

Weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq! Ricky Man-on-Dog-Sex Santorum (R-Pervert) announced breathlessly on Faux News today that a total of 500 chemical weapon canisters found buried in the ground near the Iranian border.

Buried, that is, sometime prior to 1988. Jesus, this wasn't a big fucking secret. The US already knew about them, found them, in fact, in 2003. And reported that the blister agent used in them had long gone inert. At the time they were found, not even the White House was ready to claim that this pathetic stash constituted the "smoking gun" evidence that was used to justify the invasion of Iraq.

That didn't stop Little Ricky and his sidekick, Peter Hoekstra (R-Shitweasel) from strutting around like they'd found a fucking new-clee-ar warhead. And it didn't stop Faux News from giving them a front and center podium to stand on and squawk to the Moron-American knuckledraggers who actualy watch Faux News.

Must be an election year, and Little Ricky is behind in the polls.

7 Comments:

betmo said...

you almost killed me. i was eating when i read this and almost choked. you are the best! thanks. :)

moderate said...

you're being mean to Ricky...he's trying so hard to be...significant.

betmo said...

no- not mean- 'shocked and awed' that so much passion and humor show through along with the valid points :) i almost killed myself laughing at the way he puts things.

betmo said...

oh- sorry- i was laughing so hard i thought that moderate was talking about farnsworth. did anyone see the purple suit and pink tie stinky santorum was wearing recently?

Orange_Cross said...

So, do you ever go to some of the Faux watcher's blogs and respond to their crazy posts?

Orange_Cross said...

I don't mean your post is crazy. I think its probably right, and like a blog it hoots (slightly).

RD said...

You know, my labeling conservatives and neo-conservatives, I often think that I'm not going to stoop to their infantile level and take the high road.

After reading this, I may have to recaliber my personal policy.

Nice post. Very funny.