Monday, May 24, 2010

Elder Big Brother is Watching You

I haven't kicked around my favorite nutjob religion in quite a while, but here's something I ran across that I just couldn't keep to myself.

The Mormon church has something it calls the Strengthening Church Members Committee. Its sole function, as I understand it, is to monitor books, magazines, interviews, letters to the editor, etc., for evidence of church members who are bold enough to publicly question the One True Church and its leaders, specifically the "prophet, seer and relevator". Once Elder Big Brother identifies the guilty individual, he or she is handed over to local church authorities for remedial action, which can include anything up to "disfellowship" or out-and-out excommunication.

BTW, did you get that Orwellian name? Strengthening Church Members? Call me crazy, but I don't consider having someone look over my shoulder and examine my writing for impure thoughts or treason against the church (i.e., criticizing the authhorities) as strengthening. I call it weird and creepy.

But it's been kind of an open secret for years amongst the Mormons themselves -- the most obsessive record-keepers of all religions -- that there is a secret vault hidden in the deep granite recesses of the Wasatch Range wherein is kept a record of every single slander, libel, complaint, criticism, etc., ever leveled against the church.

And come Judgment Day, people like me will have all of our writings, blog posts, letters to the editor, etc., waved in our faces. Right before we get on that cosmic train bound for the Outer Darkness (It's my understanding that Mormons don't really believe in "hell". The damned are just sent off for an eternal journey in darkness; bad enough, but it sure beats roasting on a spit over a bed of hot coals while demons probe you with pitchforks...)