Wednesday, June 27, 2007


Those of us who have been around for a while used to talk in hushed tones about it as if it were the Holy Grail -- it was all the fault of the CIA, we said. The CIA was working with Mafia. The CIA had plans to assassinate Castro. The CIA used mind-control techniques and hallucinogenic drugs on unsuspecting citizens. The CIA tapped citizens' phones illegally. The CIA was spying on journalists.

Nonsense, the government told us. We would never do that. That's just your neurotic obsessive-compulsive conspiracy-theory mental illness that you're suffering under. The CIA is your friend, and your government would never lie to you.

Lies. Now, finally, the truth is out. The CIA has released a document compiled in the early 70s that details the very actions that we consipiracy theorists were dismissively derided for voicing all along.

And the media? They've taken the lead of the CIA and are calling the document "The Family Jewels", as if this were some quaint and mildly amusing social-gaffe-filled Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight Saturday morning cartoon show.

So what else were we lied to about? CIA involvement in the assassination of John F. Kennedy, maybe? Hmmmmm...

1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

O! now you did it! you are going to Getmo for sure!