Monday, March 14, 2011

I'm Now an Internet Businessman

So it turns out that being retired isn't as lucrative as I thought it was going to be, what with all of those pesky laws concerning the importation and distribution of rare South American herbs...

Just kidding. But I actually have started a business. I call it Privacy Guaranteed Data Recovery. Check it out. As the name implies, I extract data from your fried hard drive and guarantee personal privacy in returning it to you... Trade secrets, company plans, compromising emails or embarrassing photos -- no one will see them except you.

I decided to put to good use all that knowledge that I absorbed over my working life as a so-called Information Technology Specialist with the state of Washington.

Besides, it ought to keep me off the streets, out of the pool halls, and put some beer money in my pocket. Not to mention keeping She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed in new shoes...

So if you know anyone with a fried hard drive and some ... compromising ... information on it that they don't want anyone else to see, do them -- and me -- a favor and send them my way.



Anonymous said...

RU Kidding Me? You would allow things like child pronograpy and etc., to be copied and dissemenated, when Gods will was that the sinner would have his computer tool of the devil "fried" as you put it. Aptly too since you both will fry in hell.

Farnsworth68 said...

Jeez, it just goes to show ya folks, that there's an avid fundo lurking under every bush.
Why, anon, would you automatically leap to the conclusion that somehow, in some way, child "pronography" is involved?
And if the computer is the tool of the Devil, why are you using one?
Gimme a fuckin' break here.
If I don't SEE the data, I can't censor it. What an individual does is between him and whatever mythical pie in the sky god he believes -- or doesn't believe -- in. If someone has anything on his hard drive that he doesn't want anyone else to see, that's his business and none of mine. I just recover the data...I don't look at it. Nor would I want to. If someone has child pornography on his hard drive, the crime has already been committed, the child has already been exploited, chances are the police are hot on the trail anyway (they are the professionals, after all) and it's all beyond my personal or professional limits.