Sarah Palin: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Sarah Palin just can't stand being out of the spotlight. Today I learned that she publicly called President Barack Obama "chicken" for not labeling all terrorists "Islamic terrorists", and also for not going to Paris for a photo-op at The March, where he would have met with world leaders that she despises, e.g., Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas, the socialist president of France François Hollande, and Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov.

Instead she calls the President "chicken". So the caliber of political discourse has dropped to the level of schoolyard taunts? Really?

But if he had gone, I am also 100% dead certain that she would use that against him, saying he was "pallin' around with terrorists". The President just can't win against the brain-dead nattering nabobs of negativism at Faux News.

In other news, Palin is bringing back her television show on some channel that is so far up the line that most remote controls can't handle the large number of punches it takes to get to it. I don't know what kind of knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing moron-American audience she gets, but they can't exceed about 75 on the IQ scale. And the total viewership surely can't make a nudge, or even a burp, in the Nielsens.

I hope she does stay in the spotlight as much as she can. It's like shooting fish in a barrel making snarky comments about her. They practically write themselves -- hell, she actually writes them for us.

It's probably too much to hope for that she'll make a run for the presidency next year.

Oh, and speaking of pallin' around with terrorists:

Sarah Palin Out -- Say It Ain't So!

It is with great regret that I note that Sarah Palin is dropping out of the race for the White House, a race that she was never in to begin with.

Only in America could this be headline news. My personal regret is that it will probably drive down the readership of this blog.

The one page on this blog that has gotten, according to Blogger Statistics, the absolute highest number of hits (by a factor of 2-1!) is my post from November 2008, Sarah Palin Camel Toes, the vast majority of those hits coming from Google Search for the phrase "Sarah Palin Camel Toes". Do the search yourself and you will see that this blog occupies the top four slots in the Google rankings.

What does that say about the Internets, about the users of those Internets, and about the public at large? And what does it say about the media in this country that of all the possible stories they could cover on a given news day, the non-story of a non-candidate dropping out of a race that she was never in gets top billing?

It's a sad commentary on our times, for sure.

Still, I'm going to miss her. She was easy, a ready target every time she opened that pit-bull-with-lipstick mouth of hers and said something stupid. My biggest regret is that I didn't slam her more than I did.

Shit. See, I'm doing it myself... Damn you, Sarah Palin!

Don't Know Much About History...

Or so goes the line from a Sam Cooke song that was popular in my youth... say 100 years ago or so...

But it's a sad commentary on the state of the world -- and the future of it -- that today's students truly don't know much about history.

According to a Reuter's story, less than 25% of teens are proficient at US History.

And that is a shocking statistic. If you don't know your history, then you don't know shit, and consequently you are much more likely to fall for anything that "sounds reasonable"...

Which goes a long way towards explaining why idiots like Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann can get away with the moronic mangling of American history (Palin; Bachmann) to suit their own ends.

Shit, they probably don't even know where they are wrong. After all, they are in the mix along with everyone else. But I'd guess that they are probably at the bottom end of that continuum (a mixed metaphor, but you know what I mean), the 5% that don't know shit and don't care... And are proud of it!

It bodes ill for the future, not only of the US but also the world.

No wonder Holocaust Deniers can get the kind of traction they are getting. The farther we get from WWII and the less people know about it, the more the historical revisionists can work their evil magic...

Paul Revere, Sarah Palin and "Gotcha" Journalism

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Having it Both Ways

Yeah, I know that's a major "nudge-nudge-wink-wink" headline, which of course I write with a measured amount of trepidation, given the content of my earlier post today, but come on. Donald Trump and Sarah Palin as Neo-Birthers? Really???

The Donald, as he is unaffectionately known, is trying to carve out his own niche in presidential politics by attempting to resurrect the birther controversy about whether Obama was born here, etc etc blah blah blah.

So, in response to The Donald's sojourn into Total Fuckwackery, our favorite Great Huntress of The North, Caribou Barbie, aka Sarah Palin, is now on record as saying that (1) she "appreciates" Trump's questions, and she (2) "thinks" Obama was born in Hawaii because "there was the birth announcement put in the newspaper...[b]ut obviously there is something there that the president doesn't want people to see on that birth certificate, that he sees going to great lengths to make sure it isn't shown. And that's perplexing for a lot of people..."

All hail the final triumph of Fuckwackery over reason. Just because he is Donald Fucking Trump, all of a sudden he's a fucking expert on the topic. Perplexing, is it? Just to the feeble-minded and their cynical manipulators. Like you, Sarah and Donald.

But, to give credit where credit is due, supposedly The Donald has a "crack team" of investigators (by which I assume he does not mean "investigators on crack") on the job, and they undoubtedly will, once and for all, discover "The Truth" behind the secret Obama birth certificate.

But the proof of the pudding, as we all know, is in the eating, and I'm looking forward with baited breath to masticatingly mauling that lumpy, chewy indigestible mass, even as we speak.

And Sarah? She's trying to have it both ways.

No, stop it, get that mental image out of your diseased imagination. That's not what I meant. No, really, I mean it... Stop it.

Is Sarah Palin the Bethenny Frankel of Politics?

Yeah... Like probably most non-'reality'-show-watching people I didn't get the connection, but the headline intrigued me, so I had to read the story.

It was an education for me. Not only do I now know who Bethenny Frankel is, but why Ilana Angel asked the rhetorical question:

Just when you think Sarah Palin has said the dumbest thing possible, she tops herself with yet another doozy. I wrote a couple of weeks ago that I wanted her to shut up and I totally take it back. I hope she never stops talking because every time she does, she reminds America there is no way in hell she should ever be President of the United States.
Mrs. Palin likes to share her views on Facebook. Perhaps she thinks this will make her popular among voters who are into social networking. It’s not working though because for her, it’s just a place where she hides from live television. What she is doing is showing Americans she is not serious, and should not hold any political office ever again, especially not President.
What are you doing Sarah? It’s time for things to get real and for you to grow up and stop playing games. Either you want to run for President or you don’t, but your rhetoric, while hilarious, is getting boring. Are you just trying to amass your fortune and raise your celebrity, or are you planning to run for President? Your cat and mouse game is annoying and we’re about done.
Following the State of the Union speech of President Obama, Palin said Obama’s use of Sputnik was confusing and I don’t doubt for one second that it was. For Palin. Bless her little heart. She was probably out bashing fish on the head, or shooting wolves from the sky when they talked about Sputnik in her history class, so you can’t blame her for not knowing the facts.
Palin said: “Well, speaking of last night, that was a tough speech to sit through and try to stomach because the president is so off base in his ideas in how it is he believes government is going to create jobs. Obviously, government growth won’t create any jobs. It’s the private sector that can create the jobs. His theme last night in the State of the Union was the WTF, you know, “Winning the Future,” and I thought OK, that acronym, spot on. There were a lot of WTF moments throughout that speech.”
Sarah Palin seems to be confused about a lot of things and it is impossible to take her seriously. What does it say about America that a woman, who is so incredibly under-qualified for a political job, is spewing crap each and every day about our country? What the f&%$ Sarah? When are you going to start acting like a grown up, and not a mean girl on the playground? You have no respect for this country, or for your President.
Sarah Palin is quickly becoming the Bethenny Frankel of the political world. Like Bethenny, she is attractive and oddly appealing, and also like Bethenny, she is a joke that we watch because we like to laugh at her, not with her. Bethenny has no talent, but she has a huge following of crazy fans. By crazy fans of course I mean the fans are actually crazy people, just like Sarah’s.

So, since there seems to be a building consensus for a Palin-free zone for February, this might be my last Palin Post for a month.

But jeez, you know the woman is such a fucking goldmine that I doubt I'll be able to go on the Palin-free wagon that long...

Franklin Graham & His Sycophants on Sarah Palin

From the Billy Graham website (I wont provide the link because I don't want the trackback -- Google it if you really want to see it), here's what Billy Junior (aka Franklin Graham) has to say about Saint Sarah:

I have been shocked at the reports from those suggesting that former Governor Sarah Palin has some level of responsibility for the horrific shooting in Arizona.
. . .
She is a kind and compassionate God-fearing woman who believes with all her heart that Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Whether you agree with her politics or not, it is outrageous to suggest that her political opinions encourage violence toward anyone.

Jesus wept.

Even worse are some of the reader comments on this site:

• Thank you Franklin for voicing for so many that which we believe and know to be the truth about Sarah Palin. She is a godly woman who publicly professes Jesus as her Personal Savior and Lord. This attrocity [sic] belongs to one man who has given himself over to hate, violence and destruction. Anyone expoilting [sic] this evil act to push their agenda is in fact promoting it.
• Thank you for standing up for Sarah Palin. I am thankful that she is a Christain [sic], and I pray she will become our next President. May God help us to have a strong Christain [sic] in the White House. We need to turn back to God as a nation and having a Christain [sic] president will show us as a Christain [sic] nation once again. May God continue to bless us!
• I agree with Franklin, our society has been so conditioned to let our youth grow up with all this corruption, murder, rape, cursing etc. It is small wonder our kids are so violent and messed up. It is not the LORDS' way, it is Satans' way. The gospel states that man will become weaker and wiser. I think you have to look at that with broad strokes of periods in civil and social acts. When you constantly pour evil acts by the bucket full on our kids. All the killing games that are available for so call entertainment. Wow our kids don't have much of a chance. Don't blame 1 or 2 people for these crimes, we have to look at ourselves and say where can we start to get this stuff off our airways, out of our play station game rooms. Praise be to GOD,to help us through these terrible times.
• How unconsionable [sic] that someone could even consider Gov. Palin as somehow contributing to this heious [sic] crime. Palin who is a Christian and stands only for righteousness and godly principles. May she become our next president.

So there you go. These people, aside from being spelling-challenged and thinking-impaired (equating murder and rape with cursing? Really?), are deadly serious about pushing the Half-governor into the White House.

South America is starting to look real good about now...

Now it's "Blood Libel"? Really?

Half-governor Palin finally broke squelch today by claiming that the "liberal media" attack on her gun scope graphics over Gabby Giffords district, her "don't retreat, reload" sound bites, her continual violent verbal imagery, her battering use of violence metaphors, is nothing short of "blood libel".

"Blood Libel"... That's code, in case you didn't know, for "Hey, I'm the victim here".

Here's what Wikipedia says about "Blood Libel":

Blood libel ... refers to a false accusation or claim that religious minorities, almost always Jews, murder children to use their blood in certain aspects of their religious rituals and holidays.Historically, these claims have–alongside those of well poisoning and host desecration–been a major theme in European persecution of Jews.
The libels typically allege that Jews require human blood for the baking of matzos for Passover. The accusations often assert that the blood of Christian children is especially coveted, and historically blood libel claims have often been made to account for otherwise unexplained deaths of children. In some cases, the alleged victim of human sacrifice has become venerated as a martyr, a holy figure around whom a martyr cult might arise. A few of these have been even canonized as saints.

Okay, so what the hell is Sarah Palin doing going around trying to claim that she's the martyr? It's especially pathetic when you remember that Rep. Giffords is, herself, Jewish.

Jesus, does this woman's stupidity, her irresponsibility, her arrogance know absolutely no boundaries?

Michelle Bachmann? Really?

Just what we need, another batshit crazy presidential candidate:

“Rep. Michele Bachmann is beginning to consider a presidential run, according to close congressional aides,” the Minneapolis Star Tribune writes. “As part of that effort, the Minnesota Republican is traveling to the early caucus state of Iowa on Jan. 21 to confer with state GOP leaders and address a group of conservative tax activists… While Bachmann has made no firm decision about a White House bid in 2012, ‘nothing is off the table,’ press aide Sergio Gor told the Star Tribune Wednesday, confirming an earlier ABC News report.

When someone from your own staff acts all coy like this about your plans to run for president, you just know that she is going to be running.

Good.

Finally, some much-needed if unintentional humor injected into the presidential race. I can't wait for her and Half-governor Palin to start yapping at each other during the first primary debate.

In the words of several characters in a memorable episode of Seinfeld, "Mmmmm, cat fight!"

When it's all over and they are shown up for the moron losers that they really are, maybe they can enter the Witless Protection program. Neither of them should have the slightest problem getting in.

President Palin? Don't Scoff -- It's Possible

As much fun as it is to contemplate the political curb-stomping that Barack Obama would likely administer to Half-Governor Sarah Palin if she became the Rethug nominee, it could turn out to be one of those "be careful what you ask for because you just might get it" things.

I'm as eager as anyone else with half a brain to see Palin get her ass kicked in a general election, but we anticipate that particular matchup at our peril.

If she actually managed to claw and snarl and lie her way to the top of the heap to become Obama's opponent in the 2012 general election, she just might pull it off and take all the marbles.

Anything can happen: All it would take would be another Iranian-hostage-type situation like the one that destroyed Jimmy Carter's presidency and ushered Saint Ronald into the Offal Office. Or the Rethugs, with the enabling tactics of their sycophantic lackeys and servile toadies in the CPM/SCLM*, could manufacture out of whole cloth some "scandal" -- Obama is a child molester, Obama is a rapist, Obama is a ________ (fill in the blank with your own heinous crime) -- that would sway enough of the Moron-American voting bloc to vote against Obama and for her.

Keep in mind that a December poll pitting her against Obama was, in the grand scheme of things, pretty shocking: A full 40% supported her, vs. only 48% for Obama. That seems like a landslide, but if I have my math right, a shift of only 5% from Obama to Palin would hand her the presidency on a meat platter.

And if that happens, I really do have to get out. I'm way too visible on the left side of the spectrum, what with my membership on the National Advisory Council of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, my long-time membership in the ACLU and my left-wing political and anti-war activism. And of course, this blog.

If I am not already on a new Rethug "enemies list", it's not for lack of trying.

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[* CPM/SCLM = Capitalist Pig Media/So Called Liberal Media]

Welcome to Trailer Park: The Series

Jeez, I swear I never saw this coming.

Turns out that the whole thing would make for a great redneck country song -- or a "reality" tv show.

First the teenagers Levi and Bristol were "in love" and, inexplicably, without even the most readily available form of contraception on the planet (I mean really, you can't go into the bathroom in any bar without seeing The Machine) when their horny teenage reproductive genes kicked into high gear and they started grappling like wolverines in heat.

So she gets pregnant, and Boy Teenager suddenly finds himself trapped in the national spotlight when Granny Mooselini got herself, again inexplicably, on the ticket for VP. So it was almost a shotgun wedding, and then he made a zillion bucks on the quasi-celebrity circuit trash-talkin' Granny, and then it turned out the shotgun wasn't loaded and he dodged the whole trailer-trash-redneck-marriage thing.
But wait! There's more: Our boy Levi it turns out was off on a "hunting trip" (jeez, couldn't he come up with something original? That's such a fucking cliché!) when he was really hunting pussy and porking some California jailbait, who is now the mommy of Baby #2.

I swear to god you can't make this shit up. Now CBS is in negotiations with the Palin family to bring their weekly "reality show" to television this fall.

Need I remind everyone that these are national-spotlight representatives of the Party of Family Values? No, I didn't think so...