Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Welcome to Trailer Park: The Series

Jeez, I swear I never saw this coming.

Turns out that the whole thing would make for a great redneck country song -- or a "reality" tv show.

First the teenagers Levi and Bristol were "in love" and, inexplicably, without even the most readily available form of contraception on the planet (I mean really, you can't go into the bathroom in any bar without seeing The Machine) when their horny teenage reproductive genes kicked into high gear and they started grappling like wolverines in heat.

So she gets pregnant, and Boy Teenager suddenly finds himself trapped in the national spotlight when Granny Mooselini got herself, again inexplicably, on the ticket for VP. So it was almost a shotgun wedding, and then he made a zillion bucks on the quasi-celebrity circuit trash-talkin' Granny, and then it turned out the shotgun wasn't loaded and he dodged the whole trailer-trash-redneck-marriage thing.
But wait! There's more: Our boy Levi it turns out was off on a "hunting trip" (jeez, couldn't he come up with something original? That's such a fucking cliché!) when he was really hunting pussy and porking some California jailbait, who is now the mommy of Baby #2.

I swear to god you can't make this shit up. Now CBS is in negotiations with the Palin family to bring their weekly "reality show" to television this fall.

Need I remind everyone that these are national-spotlight representatives of the Party of Family Values? No, I didn't think so...

1 Comment:

Lemon Jelly said...

I hope Bristol is smart enough to just stay away now...