Bristol & Levi's Advice to New Parents

After that fateful school "camping trip" wherein Bristol Palin and her main squeeze Levi Johnston found out firsthand about the evils of condoms, they've written a guest column on the snarky political satire site 23/6.

Some gems of their advice:

· BABY WON'T SLEEP: A common problem, not just for babies but for everyone in Alaska, considering there's always, like, 36 consecutive hours of daylight or darkness. If baby is fussing, try licking your hand and running it through the child's hair...
· BABY IS HORNY: There's no better time than the first days of infancy to start teaching your child about abstinence. Remember, the sooner you can start informing your kid about the evils of pre-marital sex, the less likely they'll be to get themselves in some kind of embarrassing, unexpected situation. This may also be a good time to start teaching your baby about irony.

Who knew that these two could turn out to be the dispensers of such sage advice? I certainly was caught in shock and awe...