Petition for Iraqi Freedom
Elizabeth Woods (email: firstname.lastname@example.org) is an earnest young Republican who has a point of view. She is circulating an online petition to pResident Horsejack to "stay the course" in Iraq. Whatever that means this week.
Good for her. Here's the text of the email I sent to her in response:
Thank You for Supporting Our PresidentOkay, so I lied a little: I don't have any relatives on the ground in Iraq, I'm not medically retired, and I have only a 10% disability. So what? These people thrive on lies -- the least I can to is provide some free of charge.
I am so proud of you for circulating your petitition. It is so refreshing to see a young person with the personal drive and patriotism that you so amply display taking an interest in the foreign policy of her country.
I am a disabled Vietnam combat veteran, the son of a WWII veteran, the nephew of TWO Korean War veterans (both of whom were also in WWII), the grandson of a WWI veteran, the great-grandson of a Spanish American War veteran, the great-great-grandson of THREE Civil War veterans, the great-great-great-grandson of a Mexican War veteran, the great-great-great-great-grandson of TWO War of 1812 veterans, and the great-great-great-great-great-grandson of FOUR veterans of the American Revolution. I have a son in the Tennessee National Guard in Fallujah, and a daughter-in-law in the Regular Army in Baghdad. In addition, I have two nephews in the Marine Corps who are "somewhere in Iraq" (that is all they are allowed to tell us).
I can't express how proud all of my ancestors -- and my children and nephews -- who took up arms to defend our nation will be of you that day when you hold up your right hand and take that pledge to defend the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, when you take your oath of enlistment and join Uncle Sam's military service.
I just wish all of them could be with us when I witness that happy occasion.
Please consider inviting me to your swearing-in ceremony. Nothing would please me more. I am an aging disabled veteran now, with multiple physical problems stemming from my service in Vietnam, so I can't get around like I used to, but if you would only invite me to be a witness to that joyous occasion... well, words just can't capture the depth and the breadth and the intensity of the emotions that I would feel... I would, in short, die a happy man if only that one wish were to come true.
Thank you again for your impending sacrifice in the service of your country.
SP4 Winston S. Farnsworth
Medically Retired 100% Disabled
US Army Veteran
It'll be interesting to see if she she responds. And what she says, if she does. She's probably so fucking stupid that she won't get the sarcasm.
See Operation Yellow Elephant for more, and start your own "agitprop" campaign. It's actually a lot of fun.