A Mormon Woman Speaks Out Against Romney

Jesus, when a Mormon "patriarch" can't even keep his own women in check, what makes us think he's going to be able to run a nation?

Check out A Mormon Woman's Manifesto by Judy Dushku, wherein she eviscerates Mitt Romney for being the number one Mormon asshole in her life, at a time when she and her granddaughter needed some spiritual counseling but instead got Mormon bluster and threats of excommunication (excommunication being one of the worst things that a Mormon can face--you are cut off from everyone in the church, all of your friends and family, fellow workers, the whole ball of wax; it can be daunting to face for someone raised in the church and encouraged to have only Mormon friends, etc.)

As an aside, Judy Dushku is the mother of ultra-hot actress Eliza Dushku. No word yet on what she thinks of Mitt Romney, but since the fruit never falls far from the tree, I would guess that she doesn't like him either. The Wikipedia article says she is no longer practicing the faith. Good for her!

News Release: Mittens' Kittens

In a not-surprising move today, Governor Mitt Romney unveiled his latest plan to put food in the mouths of the nation's poor.

After his depressing gaffe earlier this week, in which he claimed that he didn't care about the poor in America, former Massachusetts Governor Mittens Romney today said that his plan would take care of two issues at the same time.

"Let them eat kittens," Romney said in an exclusive press conference. "Animal shelters across the country are reporting a record number of homeless cats. We also have a record number of people who go to bed hungry. Why not solve two problems at once?"

Romney claims that the number of kittens that will already be euthanized are of such a number that their rendered protein will serve the needs of the nation's homeless and hungry "for the foreseeable future".

Romney, you will recall, has already demonstrated his disdain for animals kept as pets by the now-infamous cross-country trip in which the family dog was fastened to the roof rack on Romney's vacation vehicle. He has also demonstrated his disdain for the poor in America by his statement that he doesn't really care about them.

Now, Romney says, if the poor can be convinced that the feral cat population can be used as a protein source, all the better.

"It's easy to dismiss a viable source of protein," Romney said, "but studies have shown that the truly hungry will eat pretty much anything if they have to."

There has been no word yet from the American Humane Organization or the Cat Protection Society on Romney's plan.

Limbaugh Unhinged Over Safety Net

Everyone knows about Mint Rawmoney's unintentionally truthy gaffe about not being concerned about the very poor, since they have a safety net.

Of course Rusty Limpdick came unglued over it, but not over its obvious tin-ear deafness to the needs of real Americans. No, this is what he has to say:

...the safety net is contributing to the destruction of their humanity and their futures! Everybody knows what he's trying to say but he didn't say it and he makes himself a target with this stuff. He comes across as the prototypical rich Republican. And it's gonna make it harder and harder and harder and harder to go after Obama because this turns around on him. You know, all these Wizards of Smart in the Republican establishment say, 'We can't have Newt out there! Why, Newt's gonna be the topic. We need Obama to be the topic. We need Obama to be the guy campaign's about. If Newt's out there, it's only gonna be about Newt.' Well, what evidence is there that it's not gonna be about Romney with these kinds of statements?
Everybody knows what he's trying to say here, but you give them 'I'm not concerned about the very poor,' you chop it off there and it could be about anything. I'm not concerned about the poor in the way they're eating. I'm not concerned about the poor and the car they have. I'm not concerned about the poor and where they live. You can do all kinds of things with that. And it isn't gonna be enough to say, (crying) 'You've taken that out of context.' We know what he's trying to do. He's trying to zero in and tell the middle class, 'I'm thinking of you.' But this repair the safety net stuff? The safety net is contributing to poverty. The safety net contributes to poverty. It does not solve it. We've got proof every year since the Great Society and whatever else Johnson named it, starting in the sixties. It hasn't fixed anything.

This is from the official show transcript, to be found over at Politico.

If you don't have the bloviating ass-pimple-draft-dodger and self-appointed leader of the Rethug Party on your side, then what chance do you really have to win an election in November?

Answer: Not much, and that's good for our side. Bring it on!

Romney: Another Chickenhawk

I've always found it kind of odd that Mitt Romney never quite managed to find the time to serve his country in the US Armed forces. After all, Mitt is of an age (born in 1947) that, when the 1960s were in full flower and the flower of American youth was called to serve and die, that he really should have been called to serve.

Of course he was on a mission for the Moron Mormon church for two years in, of all places, France! How many Frenchmen can be wrong? All of them who fall for the cheese-pie-in-the-sky fantasies of the Mormons...

Okay, cheap shot -- everyone knows that I don't hate the French. But I do hate most Mormons and I hate most Mormon missionaries (okay, hate is a strong word for what is really a kind of special pity for a naive bunch of brainwashed children) and I especially hate chickenhawks.

So why is it that Mitt, even though he was pretty public in demonstrating in support of the draft at Stanford(!) in 1966, was never sent that infamous "greeting" that a lot of us got when we were afforded that "opportunity" to serve our Uncle Sam?

The article linked above seems to conclude that his status as a "missionary of god" got him a permanent exemption, but I know that this is a faulty conclusion. It got him a deferment only for the 24 months that he was "laboring" in the mission field, but after that he was -- or should have been -- 1A with his local draft board again.

When I was an unwilling employee of Uncle Sam myself, I was in training with this creepy crewcut geekezoid -- he looked a lot like that Gary Larson kid with the black glasses and flattop haircut -- from Idaho who was a "returned missionary", having served his two years in Germany. He was, like me, a draftee, but he was also a scion of Mormon Royalty from several Utah generations (you'd recognize the name immediately if you knew anything about Mormon Royalty). Back then, I thought that most Mormons were a patriotic lot and wouldn't consider avoiding the draft.

Still, when something over 80% of my basic training company -- all draftees, of course -- got sent to advanced infantry training at Fort Polk Louisiana (prep school for Vietnam) Mister Mormon Royalty managed to snag himself a plum quasi-diplomatic liaison assignment to ... Germany. All because he spoke (sort of) German.

Which brings us full circle back to Chickenhawk Romney. If he didn't get that deferment because he was on a mission, then why didn't he get drafted?

Could it be that it was because his father, George Romney, who himself had avoided the WWII draft himself by making cars in Detroit, was the governor of Michigan?

And even though our Mittsy was in favor of the war, he just didn't want to dirty his own hands with it; his father, when he tried to run for president (yes, it's true) in 1968, came out against the war and said that, when he was for it before he was against it, he'd been "brainwashed" by the generals. Which history shows was his knell of doom...

Politics is a dirty business, but it ought to be at least a public dirty business. Mitt Romney needs to clear the air, straighten out the record, and come clean as to why, if he really supported the war, he didn't do anything personally to help win it. Like enlist. Or like allow himself to get drafted.

But I'm not gonna hold my breath waiting for it. The fucker won't even make public his goddam tax returns. He's not going to address a half-century old question as to why he, despite having every opportunity to do so, did not serve his country in the Vietnam War.