Monday, February 11, 2013

A Pope Can Just Quit? WTF???!!!

What a shock to learn this morning that Pope Ratso (aka Pope Benedict, aka former Hitler Youth member) is quitting his popery. I didn't think that was even possible; I thought that once you got that pointy pope-hat and the sceptre of St Peter, you were in it for the long haul.

Shows what I know. Undoubtedly another unfortunate result of that secular-humanist upbringing of mine, I guess. But you all should know that according to "official" Catholic prophecy the next Pope will be the last Pope.

Of course the prophecy itself dates to early 14th Century, and it consists of a litany of predictions for future popes up through Ratso AND the next guy, who will be the LAST guy. But take a look at that list and tell me that old St. Malachy wasn't eating some of that ergot-infected rye bread when he saw those visions...

Note also that whoever is doing the interpretation of this "prophecy" has to do a LOT of twisting and turning to shoehorn in all of the Popes on the list.

Okay, short answer to all of this? In the words of my guru, Mister Natural, it don't mean shit...

Side note to Pope Benedict: You might have invented[citation needed] my favorite breakfast, but you're still a quitter.