McCain is So Fucked

Okay, it might be a little early to start writing that political obituary, but from where I'm sitting, the omens are against him, the cards are stacked and not in his favor, the gods are not smiling, the ... [insert own metaphor here].

But P.M. Carpenter over at Buzzflash.com, who almost always has an incisive -- and insightful -- analysis, says so in his Republican Turmoil and Democratic Unity column today:

...disunity was the only way the Dems could lose this thing; or, put in starker, far bleaker terms, the only way the GOP's John McCain could win.
And that's no hyperbole, especially when you stop to ponder that even that phrase -- "the GOP's John McCain" -- ranges from the dubious to laughter-provoking. For the man's own party is still unsure if it wants him or even claims him.

Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but maybe Carpenter is right, and we are witnessing the inevitable unraveling of the three-part "coalition of the chilling" that made up the Rethug party.

Here's hoping that he's right. And even if he isn't, that delicious feeling of anticipation that his analysis brings is something to celebrate in its own right.

Vitter and Craig, Together Again

Jeez, when I first heard about this on the radio this morning, I thought it was something out of The Onion.

But no, it turns out to be true. David Vitterand Larry Craig have teamed up to co-sponsor something called The Marriage Protection Amendment, which would define marriage as between man and woman, blah blah blah, as an amendment to the US Constitution.

Okay, maybe it's just me, but if even I were a Rethug Koolaid drinker, I still don't think I'd want the poster boys for extramarital affairs -- and soliciting gay sex in a public bathroom -- to have their names anywhere near my amendment that calls for the sanctity of the union of One Man and One Woman...

It would appear that the Rethugs are in some kind of self-destruct mode here, and I wonder what's behind it.

But nevertheless, I'm still sitting back and enjoying watching The Odd Couple and their drumbeat for the "sanctity" of marriage. Go for it, boys. It's kind of fun to watch, in a pathetic way, these two trying to make everyone forget about their own failings. What's that line from the Xian bible about worrying about a mote in your neighbor's eye while ignoring the 2x4 in your own?

Friday by the Numbers

Total American dead in the Iraq Illegal Occupation: 2500 2513 2532 2540 2546 2558 2571 2585 2597 2605 2619 2641 2710 2737 2758 2788 2809 2826 2865 2888 2906 2959 3006 3018 3025 3067 3087 3118 3132 3151 3166 3189 3210 3233 3245 3266 3299 3316 3337 3358 3387 3409 3444 3504 3519 3546 3577 3592 3611 3631 3683 3705 3725 3738 3760 3780 3795 3823 3830 3838 3845 3866 3875 3881 3886 3891 3896 3908 3921 3932 3943 3952 3960 3974 3987 3992 4004 4032 4036 4102 4113

Total coalition forces dead: 313
Total Iraqi Dead: 700,000+

Number of days since Baby Doc said he'd get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive": 2424
Number of days since the illegal occupation of Iraq began: 1884
Number of days since "Mission Accomplished": 1832
Number of days between Pearl Harbor and the end of WWII: Only 1347

Number of days that the the Vice President has NOT shot a man in the face: 817
Number of days that the Bush Twins are still not pregnant with baste-'em-or-waste-'em Snowflake babies: 652

It is still 260 days until the end of the BFEE Maladministration.

A New Low: 23%

The news today is that Baby Doc's approval rating has sunk to a new low. Only 23% approve the of the job he's doing as Preznit.

The real surprise, though, is this: What the fuck have those 23-percenters been smoking, to still, at this late stage in the game, where his malevolent "strategeries" have cost this nation over 4000 lives and who knows how many billions of dollars, think he's doing a good job?

Kool-aid drinkers, obviously, who would defend the motherfucker if he was seen live on stage biting the heads off chickens, crucifying Barack Obama, setting fire to Hillary Clinton, and using a strap-on dildo on Condy Rice.

Baby Doc Quote of the Week

This one produced a real Scooby Doo moment -- "duh-hyunhh?"

"The Senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race."

--April 5, 2001

Order in the Court?

Well, almost. In a surprising 8-1 decision, Johnson v. California, the Supremes ruled that the state of California court system made it too difficult for defendants to claim racial bias in jury selection.

Johnson was a black man charged with murder of a white child. During the selection process, the prosecutor managed to systematically exclude every single black juror in the pool from sitting on the case, with the result that Johnson was convicted by the all-white jury.

So naturally this case wound its way through the legal system, all the way to the US Supreme Court, where the court came down solidly on the side of Johnson and against racial profiling and racial discrimination on the part of the state.

But note that there was that single dissenter. Want to take a guess on who that single dissenting voice belonged to?

Clarence Thomas!

Not even "Tony Quack-Quack" Scalia could find a way to rule for the state -- and I'm sure that he tried like hell to do it. And this case marks one of the very few instances in the history of the court where Thomas came down on the opposite side of a case from Scalia.

So what was Thomas's reasoning? That the states ought to be in charge of figuring out how to prevent racial profiling and discrimination on their juries. The states!

Yeah, that whole "states rights" things worked out really well in the past for black defendants in, say, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, and Thomas's home state of Georgia.

See the excellent commentary on this decision -- "his dissent and rationale is like a Dave Chappelle skit (see Clayton Bixby)" --over at BlackState.com, along with a list of suggested reading for Thomas's summer vacation.

This man is so inept and out of touch with reality that he's actually an embarrassment to the legal profession, and indeed, to the entire American system of jurisprudence. But those jokers get to be justices for life, and while impeachment is always an option, it's not a practical one. It's like the old joke about politicians -- you're okay as long as you don't get caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy...

So I guess that's all we can hope for in the case of Clarence Thomas. He's still young enough (just turned 60) to be around for a long time, still wreaking the kind of havoc and destruction that he's engaged in before (see, for example, Bush v. Gore).

Dobson v. Obama

This would be a lot funnier, if it weren't so fucking weird.

The "Reverend" James Dobson, of Focus on the Fetus Family fame, has made some pretty inflammatory accusations against Barack Obama after Obama pointed out some oddities in the so-called "Christian Bible" and said that governing under the principles of the bible would be "impractical".

Impractical? Yeah, to say the least, since the bible, as Obama says, approves slavery and says that eating shellfish is an abomination. There's more; you can read it all for yourself in the Book of Leviticus, and then maybe you can send your own letter to Dobson, the way I sent one to "Doctor" Laura on this same topic...

I think it's abso-fucking-lutely hilarious that Dobson can say, with a straight face, without a trace of irony, "I think he's [Obama] deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology," Dobson said, adding that Obama is "dragging biblical understanding through the gutter..." and that Obama should not be referencing "antiquated dietary codes" and passages from the Old Testament that are "no longer relevant" to the teachings of the New Testament.

The mind reels, the brain is boggled, the...Jesus, protect me from your followers...words fail me...

This from a man who has made a fucking career of misinterpreting the Xian bible and dismissing that wussy "peace guy" Jesus as some kind of new age hippie weirdo. It's especially mind-boggling when you think that Dobson himself freely quotes from the Old Testament -- in fact the very book of Leviticus -- when he is busy condemning those "ho-mo-sessuals" who are lurking at every turn, demanding their "special" rights...

Now that I think of it, I am going to send that letter to Dobson. I just dropped by Focus's web page and they don't provide an email address (surprise surprise), but this is important enough that I think it deserves a snail-mail letter. I'm sending it off tomorrow to (according to the website):

Focus on the Family
(street address not required)
Colorado Springs, CO 80995

I guess they're pretty fucking important if the PO doesn't even require a street address, eh?

And just in case you didn't click that link, here is the actual text of the actual letter (thanks again to bible-student-cum-snarky-genius J. Kent Ashcraft) I'm going to send to Dobson tomorrow:

Dear Doctor Dobson:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your website and from your various appearances on radio and in the television media, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific Bible laws and how to follow them:

(a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors complain to the zoning people. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

(b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. What do you think would be a fair price for her? She's 18 and starting college. Will the slave buyer be required to continue to pay for her education by law ?

(c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense and threaten to call Human Resources.

(d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? ....Why can't I own Canadians? Is there something wrong with them due to the weather?

(e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should this be a neighborhood improvement project ? What is a good day to start? Should we begin with small stones? Kind of lead up to it?

(f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. I mean, a shrimp just isn't the same as a you-know-what. Can you settle this?

(g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? Would contact lenses fall within some exception?

(h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die? The Mafia once took out Albert Anastasia in a barbershop, but I'm not Catholic; is this ecumenical thing a sign that it's ok?

(i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

(j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple.

Winston Smith Farnsworth

I will let you know when -- and if -- I get a response.

All 9-11, All the Time

It's not often that a campaign will stumble this badly, and put out for god and everyone to see the secret yearnings behind the friendly front. But that's what happened in the McCain camp.

So it's with an inordinate amount of delicious schaudenfreude -- and believe me when I say that that schaudenfreude is one my absolute favorite things in life -- that I learn from the news that Charlie Black, Grampaw McCain's lackey when he's not being a K-Street Lobbyist for Evil, has come right out and said that a 9-11-type attack on the US would be beneficial -- "a big advantage" -- to Grampaw's campaign.

Like ... duh ...

But, like I say, this is not something you want out in the public eye. It's kind of like talking at the Thanksgiving dinner table about Grandma's career in her youth as a stripper during the Alaska Gold Rush. Maybe everyone at the table knows it, but you still don't want to talk about it publicly.

So poor old Charlie had to issue an apology, of sorts, but now that I think about it, maybe it's not a stumble after all.

As the Mayberry Machiavelli Karl Rove Playbook would dictate, the damage is already done, and the irrational-fear-inducing notion of OH MY GOD ANOTHER 9-11!!! is firmly planted in the psyche of the Moron-American voting bloc.

Jeez.

Maybe the schaudenfreude is on me...

T. Bone Chicken and the Issue That Refuses to Die

Okay, by now everybody knows how I feel about John Kerry and his refusal to fight back against the Swift Boar Liars for Bush.

But I also figure better late than never, so it is with uncontrolled glee that I see that ten of Kerry's shipmates from Vietnam are taking up T. Boone Pickens on his offer to give (cue music) one million dollars to anyone that can prove that the Swifties are wrong.

This ought to be a slam dunk, and it couldn't have come at a better time. Just when T-Bone is trying to gin up his media whores to slime Barack Obama, all of a sudden he has to defend himself against the lies of fours years back. It's a public-relations coup of unimaginable brilliance, and kudos to Kerry and his crew for getting the timing exactly right

And, unlike public figure John Kerry, these ten shipmates are not ineligible to file slander lawsuits against T-Bone and his ugly band of liars. But first they want to have that face-to-face sitdown with T-Bone, so they can make the fucker squirm in his underwear when they present to him the incontrovertible truth about what really happened during Kerry's nine months in Vietnam.

And this time he won't be able to weasel out of it by changing the rules in the middle of the game. I think these guys are really serious, and if it comes to the point where they need donations for their legal expenses, I'm all over it.

Duffel Bag for Sale at its "Real Value" Price

Here's your chance to get a used army-green duffel bag at its "real value" price of only $100,000...

This is the real deal. Check out the auction and read the poignant description by the veteran who is forced by circumstance to sell this valuable item.

The Flag, the Pledge, and What it Means

I note in the news that a small school district in Minnesota -- Dilworth-Glyndon-Felton by name/location -- has suddenly made national news by voting to amend a rule book to allow students to "sit out" the pledge of allegiance. Now watch the wingnut media come unglued over the whole thing, but really, what can you expect?

I am kind of amazed that this is the year 2008 and we're still fighting this stupid battle. Of course I'm lying when I say that. NOTHING amazes me any more.

But here's a little historical perspective from my personal point of view: I graduated high school in 1963 (yes, I know, it was still the Dark Ages and we used to have to bring our own slates and chalk, whale oil for the lamps, and a lump of coal for the stove...), which was less than ten years from the Reign of Terror of "Tailgunner Joe" McCarthy, still in the days where my friend (the one who lives in Philadelphia now) had to sign a fucking loyalty oath to get a part-time job at the public library.

At some point early in my senior year I became politicized -- bullshit, call it what it is: radicalized -- and I decided that I would refuse to stand for the pledge. I was ready to make a classic "federal case" out of it, but I was -- to my chagrin -- totally ignored!

What the fuck is up with that?

Well, I blame this whole sorry state of affairs on my favorite teacher, who happened to be an active member of the ACLU and who knew which side of the issue was the "correct" side -- which is to say, the constitutional side. I suspect that there was a lot of scuttling in the shadows between him and The Suits before the decision was made not to make a "martyr" out of me.

Which brings us fast-forward to now. I am involved in a number of veterans-issues groups, and inevitably the first thing out of the chute for these group meetings is ... The Pledge.

I've evolved a bit since high school (thank god--imagine if I hadn't...) and my term in the service along with a period of years of "mellowization" opened my eyes a little bit to certain ... positive aspects ... of this kind of jingoisitic patriotism. So now I go ahead and say the pledge when I'm in one of these groups.

But one thing I still refuse to do is say the words "under god".

I remember when that phrase was added to the pledge, and even at that tender age (8 years old), growing up in the Bible Belt (rural Oklahoma), I suspected that there was something wrong with that whole concept. So I guess it's no wonder that when I grew up came of age, I was naturally drawn to such organizations as the ACLU and Americans United for Separation of Church and State.

So what's the point of all this? That no one should be able to require that anyone, student or not, stand and recite a pledge of allegiance; that in the final analysis, the flag, while symbolic, is still just piece of cloth; and that we still have freedom of religion -- and freedom from religion -- as well as free speech in this country, even though they both are on life supports (along with most of the other provisions of the Bill of Rights); that it's up to each and every one of us to fight daily to preserve those freedoms.

Friday by the Numbers

Total American dead in the Iraq Illegal Occupation: 2500 2513 2532 2540 2546 2558 2571 2585 2597 2605 2619 2641 2710 2737 2758 2788 2809 2826 2865 2888 2906 2959 3006 3018 3025 3067 3087 3118 3132 3151 3166 3189 3210 3233 3245 3266 3299 3316 3337 3358 3387 3409 3444 3504 3519 3546 3577 3592 3611 3631 3683 3705 3725 3738 3760 3780 3795 3823 3830 3838 3845 3866 3875 3881 3886 3891 3896 3908 3921 3932 3943 3952 3960 3974 3987 3992 4004 4032 4036 4102

Total coalition forces dead: 313
Total Iraqi Dead: 700,000+

Number of days since Baby Doc said he'd get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive": 2417
Number of days since the illegal occupation of Iraq began: 1877
Number of days since "Mission Accomplished": 1825
Number of days between Pearl Harbor and the end of WWII: Only 1347

Number of days that the the Vice President has NOT shot a man in the face: 809
Number of days that the Bush Twins are still not pregnant with baste-'em-or-waste-'em Snowflake babies: 645

It is still 267 days until the end of the BFEE Maladministration.

Baby Doc Quote of the Week

In honor of California's rebirth of freedom, I dusted off this golden oldie and brought it out of the archives:

I'll be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie. I've heard about it. I hope you go -- you know -- I hope you go back to the ranch and the farm is what I'm about to say...

Manhattan KS Jan 23, 2003
Explaining that he hadn't yet seen
the movie Brokeback Mountain.

Even More on "Feminists for McCain"

I hate to keep harping on the same subject, to the point where I'm starting to sound like a broken record (note to readers who don't know what this means: Ask your parents...), but it's the story that won't go away.

Katha Pollitt over a The Nation has an incisive take on the phenomenon that is definitely worth a read:

Are there feminist Hillary supporters who hate Obama so much they'll vote for McCain just to show the Democratic Party how ticked off they are? Yes, and I get e-mails from all five of them. Seriously, I'm sure there are female Hillary Clinton voters who will go for John McCain in the general election, but I don't think too many of them will be feminists. Because to vote for McCain, a feminist would have to be insane. Let me rephrase that: she would have to believe that the chief--indeed the only--goal of the women's movement is to elect Clinton, not to promote women's rights. A vote for McCain would be the ultimate face-spiting nose-cutoff. Take that, women's equality!

Check it out and you'll see, more eloquently, in more detail and with more authority, my argument against feminists voting for McCain.

Terrorist Babies & Anus Grenades? Paging Doctor Freud

In an almost unbelievable statement on a nationally-syndicated radio show, Michael Reagan fantasized about this: Cramming hand grenades up the anuses of one-year-old "terrorist" babies and lighting them off.

Okay... Is anyone else on the planet kind of ... I don't know ... upset about this kind of statement? I mean, what the fuck is going on in this sick motherfucker's head to even come up with something like that?

And this is a man who is allowed -- yes, allowed -- to preach this kind of violent hatred over the airwaves which are, after all, owned by the American people!!!!

Okay, I know that the asshole -- oops, maybe wrong choice of words -- was possibly molested (so he claims) by one of those evil pederastic "ho-mo-sessuals" when he was away at summer camp or something like that, but Michael...

Jeez, dude, isn't about time you got some therapy? I mean, what's with this sicko fantasy about grenades and baby's butts anyway? I don't think we need Dr. Freud himself to step up, but I think it's pretty obvious that you have some severe unresolved issues in the anal-retentive department, if you know what I mean...

So, for your own sake, if not that of every little brown "terrorist baby" within a ten-mile radius of you, get some fucking psychiatric help, dude!

Even Michelle is Not Immune

Of course we all knew that going in. If there's anything -- anything at all -- about Barack Obama, his mother, his father, his children, his grandparents, his cat, his pet hamster, even his wife -- that can be exploited in a negative way by the Rethugs, they will do it, and they will do it with gusto.

And this is why, coming on the heels of the announcement of Fight the Smears, I welcome the debut of another website, this one devoted entirely to Michelle Obama and rebutting the smears against her.

Check it out over at Michelle Obama Watch, and let's all be extremely vigilant from now to election day. As we've seen before, there is nothing those fuckers on the right won't do to screw us and our candidate out of the victory we deserve.

Oh, the Irony!

I have a very close friend from high school who now lives in Philadelphia and I go there to visit him periodically, so I tend to keep up on the Philly news. Which is how I discovered Will Bunch and his Attytood blog on philly.com. Now I try to read it on a regular basis, and that's where I discovered this little gem: McCain: Most. Ironic. Comment. Ever.

In a CNN interview late last week, McCain said the following: "...every candidate's wife should be treated with respect, and if there's any disrespectful conduct on the part of anyone, those people should be rejected".

Now there is a noble sentiment from Grampaw McCain, no doubt about it. But I guess it's too fucking bad about first wife Carol, who was disfigured in an automobile accident and consequently was callously dropped, like a hot coal from the grasping hands of recently-released torture victim McCain, who, you'd think, would have at least a modicum of sympathy for her plight.

And that's not to mention his publicly dropping the c-bomb on trophy wife Cindy back in 1992. Now there's some real respect for a candidate's wife.

No kids, Irony is NOT dead. It's not even on life supports (unlike McCain, who was voted most likely to be, within the next 18 months...).

In the words of Mark Twain, reports of its death have been greatly exaggerated.

I'm Voting Republican Because...

No, not really, but there's an absolutely hilarious viral video making the rounds, featuring people who say they are voting Republican because... well, you just have to see it.

Wesley Clark on John McCain -- Must See Video

Here's retired four-star general Wesley Clark appearing on MSNBC's The Morning Joe. It's a must-see video.

Clark demolishes -- totally-- McCain's claim to having the military creds to be Commander-in-Chief. And while he's at it he beats back the Obama criticism on the same topic.

I've met Wesley Clark on a couple of occasions, and he is a brilliant man and a dynamic public speaker (I was an early supporter of his for his run for the presidency in 2004).

Wesley Clark for VP? Obama could do worse.

History Being Made

Today marks the first day that gay and lesbian couples can legally marry in California, and a large number of them wasted no time in tying the proverbial knot.

I say hooray for them, and hooray for California for its history-making decision that a marriage contract is just that, a contract, and the relative sex of the persons entering into that contract is immaterial.

So put that up your nose and smoke it, Mister and Missus Rightwing-Focus-on-the-Fetus-Alliance-Defense-Fund etc. Assholes. You are on the wrong side of history and you'd best just move over and let the real world pass you by.

Of course that's just a fantasy. They are already gearing up for a fight on this issue, probably by getting a ballot measure to vote on in November.

Which is why most gay couples in California are hurrying to get married before election day. Given the vagaries of the election process and the innate ability of the Religious Right to provoke their mindless followers into voting against human rights, we don't know what will ultimately happen.

But in the meantime, boys and girls, enjoy yourselves. You've earned it, you have a right to it, and you should bask in it.