Oh Woe Is Me ... Ten Things That Spell THE END of America

Well, the election was over just one week ago and here's what's already happened to me:

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1. I have had to submit to Sharia Law, instituted by the Chief Muslim-in-Charge Barack HUSSEIN Obama. I don't really know what that means exactly, unless it has something to do with the following:
2. My wife and I are getting a divorce because gay marriage is now legal in the state of Washington and has, therefore, destroyed "traditional" marriage.
3. I've already had to give up my guns to the Fascist/Communist/Socialist/Atheist UN gun-grabbers who kicked in my door in the middle of the night and gave me a mighty smite upside the head.
4. Since $750 billion has been stolen from Medicare to pay for Obamacare, I can't go the doctor to have the severe head wounds inflicted by those gun-grabbers taken care of.
5. My job (that I didn't have because I am retired) has been outsourced to Kenya, where some shiftless, lazy and undeserving (i.e., "black") person is now lounging around and watching television, when he is not shopping at the WalMart that I didn't shop at and wearing the made-in-Indonesia-by-slave-labor sneakers that I didn't have.
6. My other job (that I also didn't have because I am retired) has now been taken over by an illegal alien from somewhere south of the border, who is now able to stay here legally and take jobs away from "regular" Americans. (Actually, I don't know where he is from, really, but he looks "Mexican" and that is close enough..)
7. All existing copies of my book will be burnt on a Sharia bonfire, and this blog and my page on The Facebook will be summarily executed.
8. As will, sadly, two of my three cats because, while they were raised to be 100% American, they are suspiciously foreign: Siamese (Thailand) and Burmese (Myanmar). Apparently Obama's Islamist generosity to swarthy foreigners does not extend to the feline members of our society whose roots are in the wrong countries. But at least the Persian (Iran!) will be left alive, since he has obviously been a one-cat deep cover sleeper cell for Al Qaeda, and now he can enjoy his rewards from a grateful Muslim president, including a daily supply of mice from Israel to torture and kill.
9. And if all that isn't enough, the god damn Fascist/Communist/Socialist/Atheist/Islamist gov'ment has put its lousy stinking hands on my Medicare and my Social Security and my Veterans benefits, and gotten them all dirty and greasy and stinky and fingerprint-y. I really can't cope with all of this, so all in all it's probably a good thing that:
10. I've been informed that because I am an old white guy who, statistically at least, voted straight Tea Party Republican, I am to be taken away to live out the meager remainder of my pathetic days in a FEMA concentration camp somewhere in the desert of Arizona, where, in an ironic twist, I will be forced to wear official Joe-Arpaio-signature-brand pink underwear.

Oh, the humanity...

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