Saturday, May 01, 2010

Leviticus? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Leviticus

Tap any Fundo Xian on pretty much any topic that has to do with social justice and he will, seven times out of ten, spout a quotation from Leviticus back at you.

You remember the Old Testament book of Leviticus, don't you? That's the book that the fundos are constantly spewing forth with its condemnation of homosexuals. Along with shellfish, pigs, etc... You know, all of those "abominations" that they choose NOT to follow. I guess that's mostly because that edible spawn of satan, bacon-wrapped shrimp just tastes so fucking good.

Nevertheless, Leviticus also has some cautionary words for the One True God bible-thumping members of the Arizona legislature and its contrary-to-gospel-uppity-woman governor:

When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt Leviticus 19:33-34.
Got that, Arizona? Based on your own bible, which you proclaim to LOVE and believe in SO FUCKING MUCH, you are going against the word of god. You are damned. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Love the sinner, hate the sin...

Once again, I'm tempted to want to believe in an actual Judgement Day, just so I could watch the surprised look on the faces of oh-so-many "true believers" in Xianity, as their jealous and angry and temperamental and judgmental god pulls that lever and the trapdoor at their feet springs away to drop them into hell...


Stonewall said...

how hipacritical you are to quote a bible verse you don't believe to support an idea you don't understand to condem a people you don't know. oh well idiots like you can get away with anything because you are after all an idiot

Farnsworth68 said...

Well, Stonewall, now you've gone and done it. You've hurt my feelings...NOT!
Get a spellcheck, dude: "Hipacritical"? Really?
And you calling ME an idiot is a case of the pot calling the kettle black if I ever saw one.
I'd yell "moron!" back at you, but that would be an insult to morons everywhere. Didn't your mother tell you that watching Clusterfox News would make your brain go soft?
It's not my goddam bible, monkey-boy, so I can toss it around as much as I want.
A word to the wise: I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

zeppo said...

What's a little inconsistency between buddies? I mean, small crap like that has never bothered them in the past.

I am waiting to find a follower of Moloch so I can stone him if he gets someone pregnant. There is it in Leviticus. I am thinking that followers of Moloch were a big problem back in the day. God was pretty peeved at Moloch back then.

Funny, I don't seem to be running into too many of those people. But you can never be too prepared!!