Here's a brilliant sendup of the typical television news story and how to do it:
You paying attention, Clusterfox?
Thursday, February 04, 2010
How-to for a Video News Story
You paying attention, Clusterfox?
Posted by Farnsworth68 at 5:31 PM
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"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist due to the irresponsibility of its people. The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves."
"When you give food to the poor, they call you a saint. When you ask why the poor have no food, they call you a communist."
"It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creeds into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics."
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."
"The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his own self, the more ready he is to claim all excellence for his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause."
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross."
"Secular schools can never be tolerated because such a school has no religious instruction and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith.... We need believing people."
"I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute--where no Catholic prelate would tell the President (should he be Catholic) how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom to vote -- where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference -- and where no man is denied public office merely because his religion differs from the President who might appoint him or the people who might elect him."
"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
"Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely-powerful infinitely-knowledgeable universe-spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life."
"When a man is freed of religion, he has a better chance to live a normal and wholesome life."
"All wonder is the effect of novelty upon ignorance."
"Those who give up liberty for security deserve neither and will lose both."
"It is in no way lawful to demand, to defend, or to grant unconditional freedom of thought, or speech, of writing, or of religion, as if they were so many rights that nature has given to man."
"There is no need to sally forth, for it remains true that those things which make us human are, curiously enough, always close at hand. Resolve, then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts of tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us."
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Retired. Disabled Veteran. Democrat. Cancer Survivor. Stroke Survivor. Radical. Socialist. Non-theist. Political Activist. Witty Impromptu Comedian. Writer. Professional Pain in the Ass. Class Warrior. And Smart-Mouth Dispenser of Political Snark.
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- Farnsworth68
- The Left Coast, United States
- Farnsworth is a disabled Vietnam Veteran with a bad attitude and too much time on his hands.
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More Quotations
"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist due to the irresponsibility of its people. The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves."
-- Henry Kissinger
"When you give food to the poor, they call you a saint. When you ask why the poor have no food, they call you a communist."
-- Archbishop Helder Camara
"It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creeds into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics."
-- Robert A. Heinlein
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
-- Voltaire
"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."
-- Malcolm X
"The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his own self, the more ready he is to claim all excellence for his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause."
-- Eric Hoffer
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross."
-- Sinclair Lewis
"Secular schools can never be tolerated because such a school has no religious instruction and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith.... We need believing people."
-- Adolph Hitler
"I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute--where no Catholic prelate would tell the President (should he be Catholic) how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom to vote -- where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference -- and where no man is denied public office merely because his religion differs from the President who might appoint him or the people who might elect him."
-- President John F. Kennedy
"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
-- Cardinal Roberto Bellarmine, 1615,
during the trial of Galileo
"Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely-powerful infinitely-knowledgeable universe-spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life."
-- Andrew Lias
"When a man is freed of religion, he has a better chance to live a normal and wholesome life."
-- Sigmund Freud
"All wonder is the effect of novelty upon ignorance."
-- Samuel Johnson
"Those who give up liberty for security deserve neither and will lose both."
-- Benjamin Franklin
"It is in no way lawful to demand, to defend, or to grant unconditional freedom of thought, or speech, of writing, or of religion, as if they were so many rights that nature has given to man."
-- Pope Gregory XVI (1831-1846)
"There is no need to sally forth, for it remains true that those things which make us human are, curiously enough, always close at hand. Resolve, then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts of tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us."
-- Walt Kelly, Pogo
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