Apparently Size Does Matter

No one had a problem with Denny Make-That-Three-Triple-Cheeseburgers Hastert having a Pentagon jet in which to commute between DC and Chicago. It was deemed necessary and expedient for someone who is, after all, second in line to the presidency, to have secure transportation.

But what happens when the Dems take control and the Speaker of the House is suddenly a liberal? A woman? From San Francisco?

The House Rethugs are suddenly all over her for having the fucking nerve to expect the same thing her predecessor had: An airplane that can fly her non-stop from DC to her home district.

Their main objection? The size of the plane. The one she's asking for is bigger than Hastert's.

That's it. Never mind the fact that it has to be bigger since it has to fly farther. Oh, no.

Thankfully for the humor community, House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Dickwad) has now rung in on the size issue. The headline: "Boehner Stiffs Pelosi".

Now if only Roy Blunt (R-Moron) would join him, the headlines could read "Pelosi Gets Blunt Boehner"...

My Choice for the GOP Ticket

Let's face it, the frontrunners are all pretty much a bunch of losers who couldn't come up with a campaign slogan if their trust funds depended on it. And can you wait until the dust settles and they all have to kiss and make up and make googoo sounds at each other, after going for jugular in nearly every debate. Wanna watch Professor Gingrinch suck up to his sworn enemy Mitt Romney after Romney gets the nomination? Well, actually, me too, but it won't be pretty. And that's my I am throwing my not inconsiderable support behind a couple of alternative candidates who just happen to have perfect names for the 2012 Republican nomination:

I said it before, way back in 2009, and I'm saying it again, Blunt-Boehner in 2012. Roy Blunt from Missouri and John Boehner from Ohio. Both card-carrying rethugs, both with names that will make history. Come on guys, what about it?

That slogan alone is worth the price of admission. I'm probably going to go over to Makestickers.com and have a couple printed up.

Blunt-Boehner 2012: The GOP Dream Ticket

I note with some amusement that Huckleberry Huckabee won by a wide margin the straw poll at the so-called Values Voter Summit this weekend.

This sets up what many in the wingnuttery see as a GOP "dream ticket" for 2012: Huckabee and Palin.

Actually that's not a bad team for them to front: Those two just happen to be the most Religious-Right fundo-annointed wackjob candidates that they could possibly come up with.

And two of the most easily-defeatable candidates that the Dems could possibly confront.

But all that aside, I have another suggestion for the Rethugs:


Missouri's Roy Blunt and Ohio's John Boehner* are both good foot soldiers in the GOP. As a former GOP senator Roman Hruska said in a different context (the attempt by Tricky Dick Nixon to elevate G. Harrold Carswell to the Supreme Court), "...there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren't they, and a little chance?"

Indeed.

[* Okay, don't get your panties in a bunch; I know that he likes it pronounced "Beyner", but come on, who can really pass this up...?]

Democalypse 2016: It's Not Too Early

After much serious thought and contemplation, I've already decided on who I am supporting for the presidency in 2016:

Blunt-Boehner 2016 -- The GOP: Sticking it to You Since 1980

Once again I am throwing my not inconsiderable support behind a couple of candidates who just happen to have perfect names for the 2016 Republican nomination.

Okay, this isn't really new. I first supported these guys way back in 2009, and the reasons I'm beating the flogs for them now are the same ones as before:

Missouri's Senator Roy Blunt and Ohio's Representative John Boehner* are both good foot soldiers in the GOP. As a former GOP senator Roman Hruska said in a different context (the attempt by Tricky Dick Nixon to elevate G. Harrold Carswell to the Supreme Court), "...there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren't they, and a little chance?"

Indeed. Are you listening, Republican National Committee? This is a free-for-you idea, and I won't even sue you if you do it. All I want is a little recognition and gratitude (okay, and maybe a little money if it's successful -- after all you paid Karl Rove zillions for nothing...).

Even if you don't end up nominating these guys, you can still have the slogan for free. After all, you earned it.

[* Okay, Constant Reader, don't get your panties in a bunch; I know that Boner likes his name to be pronounced something like "Beyner", but come on, who can really pass this up...?]

Hastert Gets the Blunt Boehner

After being caught lying on the bloviating gasbag's show the other day, you'd think he'd show a little bit of remorse and shame. Instead he's not going to step aside for the good of the party.

His loyal henchmen, Boehner and Blunt, are falling over their own feet trying to distance themselves from the hapless speaker: "Hastert? Hey, I barely know the guy."

Even Joe Scarborough says that the Rethugs have gone too far, that Hastert has to go, and that the Dems are going to take back Congress next month.

So either way, Hastert is toast. If he steps aside now, it's too late to save face or anything else. And if he hangs in there, he's a handy hook for the Dems to hang the scandal hat on.

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning." -- Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now

2016 Dream Ticket

I just watched Jon Stewart interview Mike Huckabee on The Daily Show from last night. Jeez, that fucker has packed on some pounds -- he's gotten fat!

He's flogging his new book, God, Guns, Grits and Gravy, and it's a safe bet that he's overdosed himself on at least two of those things.

Watch Stewart tear him a new one over his hypocrisy and his "reverse elitism", and especially on why, in Huckabee's world, Beyoncé is bad and Ted Nugent is good:

So, even though the Blunt-Boehner ticket has the bumpersticker for a great campaign, I'm now considering supporting the Fatboy Ticket: Mike Huckabee and Chris Christie. Even though the structural engineers will have to get busy now to construct a platform that will hold up the two of them at the inauguration.